These raggedy men (if you ain’t raggedy but you got instantly peeved, then pull your skirt down, I’m not talking about you dear heart) are not worth all the time you put into collecting quotes and shit to let them and everyone else know… that you know … that they ain’t shit. Notice, you rarely hear about the raggedy broads men come into contact with unless they are rappers and they write songs about it. Otherwise men deal and move on from raggedy shit to ready themselves for something better. Otherwise, they become these ragged dudes we are discussing right now. It’s time to take on that same disposition… he ain’t want you, he was taken, he was inconsistent, an asshole, a cheater, or just unsure… whatever it was or is… stop giving old boy your time and attention.

We have all had at least one. One somebody who wasn’t who or what we thought, whether he just had the bomb representative and a shitty reality or because that’s what we so badly wanted, we imagined he was all of these wonderful things he never demonstrated. The key to moving beyond that trash on to greener pastures is our ability to recognize our part in our heartbreak and then acknowledge when we saw who he really was and why we ignored it. Cuz people show us who they are, hell, they often TELL us before they show us in reality. And most often we ignore it and trip over it until we face plant. Don’t stumble over your own insecurity.

“It’s not right, but it’s okay! I’m gonna make it anyway!”

Insecurity. It is a manifestation of diseased thinking about yourself. You aren’t smart, tall, thin, pretty, interesting, fly enough… or whatever lies you tell yourself. Well guess what… Raggedy dudes have a radar for that shit. They scan rooms, parties, restaurants, their friends Facebook buddies pages to seek out women who clearly need someone to pay them a compliment or give them a little time and attention. They look for the obsessed and compulsive. They look for the fisherwomen, throwing that bait out for compliments and likes and looks. They look for women who constantly big up themselves for the public… the loudest are usually the most insecure. These guys are waiting in the wings, capes on, but they can’t fly and they certainly can’t save you. They just see easy bait. Don’t be easy bait. Don’t be easy at all.

” It’s over now, go on and take a bow!”

Make him work for your affection. Make sure you know he’s worth it, because he’s already deduced your worth. And that’s the thing, if he’s looking for short term… his deductions are based on what he wants not necessarily what your traits truly represent. So when he’s had his fill of what he wants, he’ll likely not even stay to see who you really are. And that’s ok. That’s his prerogative. But you are responsible for you… your heart… your healing. So you have to limit folks access to you. Be responsible for who you let into your peace zone. And be honest with yourself, if you fail to do these things, why do you invite chaos. For attention? To cure the lonelies? Because you mistake unhealed abandonment issues for extroversion? Whatever your ailment, heal it. Toxicity only shocks the system, it doesn’t embrace it. So allow your system to heal from toxic shock syndrome before you open your doors for guests and visitors. You are more than just a stop over on a long trip. You, my dear, are the destination.

You gotta let ’em know…

“What’s my name boy?”