I am if “I don’t have to talk to you all the time, but when we do talk its like we pick right back up where we left off” was a person…
Yesterday confirmed that while that may be life, because we are all responsible for ourselves, children, spouses and mates, family, friends, organizations, work, self-care, etc., it is necessary to connect and keep in contact with people. Yesterday, I Facetimed with sistafriends off and on, all day, and I laughed, learned, taught, engaged, exhaled, and just had a good time. More than any of that though, the connection just strengthened our support of one another. A safe space to talk open and honest about whatever… work, family, ourselves, and the fuckery other folks display on a regular.
We talked about being genuine. The twisted and dark art of faking the funk. We talked about audacity and desperation. The chicken and the egg conundrum painted in shades of insecurity and egomania. We talked about racism, sexism, and intersectionality and how those play out in different professional spaces. It was a conversation Kimberli Crenshaw would be proud to know her work sparked, both acknowledging, teaching, and seeking solutions. We talked about success, Black success, and the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded Black people. Being in spaces where you are free gives you a easier backdrop in which to learn and grow. We talked about the fact that you have to stay connected in some way with people in order to ensure you are riding for people who you still believe in, respect, enjoy, and belong with. People change, for better or for worse…. or show you who they really are eventually. You only get to see that if you maintain a connection
We left that conversation knowing a little bit more about each other…
Friendships are the cornerstone of human relationships. Ideally our romantic relationships start as friendships, we are born into friendship with our same age familial relatives, and those we rear or are reared by eventually become our friends. Then there are those who we just bond with and choose to do life with. People who take up space in our lives that we willingly and happily share. That kind of bond shouldn’t be dishonored by assuming that you will necessarily pick up where you left off. Life happens between those moments… its important to be intentional in supporting each other through them. You can design that in whatever way you see fit. Call, text, letter, card, zoom, group me, whatever. But it’s important, very important to maintain that connection in some way. Friendship with other people needs watering and nourishing like every other living thing in your life. Our friends are after all the personification of sharing.
Today, I became if “I’m gonna work at being more intentional in all my friendships” was a person… with some of y’all! Some folks don’t need to be picked up, just dropped off.
And you got my number too yo… Call Me Maybe!