“’Cause you don’t want us no more,
It breaks us to the core. Boy, you must wanted somethin’ different
Still don’t know what you was missin’
What you asked I would’ve given
It ain’t right how these hoes be winnin’
Why they be winnin’?
No hope for a girl like me”

So here’s the what gives… these dudes (note: before you men get in your feelings, pick them up because this is about raggedy to ultra raggedy dudes) be trying to take us there. At some point in time, all of us women have let them. Ultimately, however, we give of ourselves much too fast… trying to prove ourselves wife material to trash. We morph into what we think men want… and maybe some of them do… but not into what the man God has crafted for us really wants.

Hoes only win because they are just being true to who they are. They free the nip, show panty lines… or don’t wear any. They wear White all year around not because they are angels but because they don’t give af and it was clean. They don’t answer even when a guy they kinda like calls, never when a pest calls, and only on pay day when the suit calls. They eat up everything on dates, order more than one drink, carry condoms, and gold dig with long shovels cuz ain’t nothing goin on but the rent.

Meanwhile, the rest of us trying to be good girls, find ourselves struggling before we ever find a prince… or a frog cuz we just got tired… I do not ever recommend this by the way. Trying so hard to be tea in the parlor ladies, when in reality we cuss, we love to do hoodrat stuff with our friends, drink Hennessey, know all the lyrics to Hoe Tales, and one moment ago we frequented the booty clubs. Not quite hoes but not exactly the Portrait of a Lady… unless she’s on fire with her petticoat thrown to the wind. So why do we try to act like it.

Not a hoe but not a “good” girl either… just who tf we are… but not always being true to her. In reality most of us are both classy and ratchet. We will cuss your ass clean out or grab your ass and tongue kiss you in public… maybe one after the other. Good is a term of art in this case, a label by men so they know who is who. Good girls they keep safe in their pockets… and yeah sure that usually comes with food, shelter, nice day dresses, some Thursday night pie after dinner, a Hello and Goodbye kiss, and sometimes a hoe on speed dial. But hoes…they take out to play. Oysters on the half shell, swanky hotels with room service and champagne, a box with a sexy dress and sexier heels, and dancing on the ceiling…ALL NIGHT LONG (all night)! Not because she’s better… but because she is EXACTLY who she is and there is no more fun person on the planet. We ain’t gotta be hoes yo!

But we can’t be broke to the core no more either… cuz somebody’s son didn’t want to do right by us. If he wants something different, guess what, he ain’t for you. Period. It’s cool… let him go find whoever he is looking for. That frees you up sis. And let freedom ring up the guy that wants you. Not the “representative” you, the “good girl” you, the “woman you think you are supposed to be” you , but the one you already are. In all your perfect imperfections, you are worthy of love as is, just who you are in this moment. You can indeed be good and bad, a lady and a freak, a intellectual and ratchet, we are truly intersectional in more ways than just one. Code-switching sometimes because that’s just how we feel at the moment… the next moment we might feel different. A girl like you. A girl like me. Be her, unapologetically, and watch the right guy step right on up and sing…

“She says her love has been crying out
But her lover hasn’t heard
But what she doesn’t realize is that I’ve listened to every word
That’s why I know I’ll tell that I love her
That I want her
That my mind, soul and body needs her… That girl, that girl” That Girl -Stevie Wonder

Sure it hurts when he can’t love you like he promised he would when he opened up your heart with that key he finagled out of your tight grip with lies and deceit. But it hurts us much more, for much longer, to mimic someone we aren’t and hide who we are. We win, every single time when we are true to ourselves and let that truth shine bright…

A Girl Like You!

A Girl Like Me!