Like EVERYTHING else we are going to run red flags into the ground aren’t we? Yes, we are. Just like “its the (add item, emotion, characteristic) for me”, the silhouette challenge, and “whoop there it is” before it… now we have moved on to making people sick af of little red emoji flags. Red flags have been around, infiltrating your good choices and directly influencing your bad ones since Columbus “discovered” a land with people on it already. Talk about a red mf’in flag. But did that stop him… nope. And here’s the gag, you won’t stop missing those joints either.
Story time: I used to keep going back with this one guy. He was, as my bestie likes to call him…
Of course she saw all his red flags, yellow flags, black flags with the skull on ‘em, but they were hidden behind words, gestures, and bullshit that was meant specifically to divert my attention from those jokers. They were wild and dancing in the air, dying to be seen, moving in the wind at just the right pace and undulation to whistle out … “over here bitch!” Yet I still was clueless. My emotions were involved and I wasn’t being completely logical or rational. I knew something about our relationship was off, but I figured we would figure it out. But that wasn’t possible, because this dude had those big ass wartime “the British are coming” red flags.
Yes like red flags do, they start off emoji size. It’s the little shit.
•She’s a cat not a dog person 🚩
•He quotes Dr. Umar 🚩
•She refuses to get a smart TV 🚩
•He texts you mean face emojis if you don’t respond quickly 🚩
•She drives an El Camino 🚩
Then those things begin to turn into slightly larger things.
•She kicked your neighbor’s dog…twice. 🚩 🚩
•He thinks a man should have two wives if he can afford them 🚩 🚩
•She thinks cell phones are spreading cancer. 🚩 🚩
•He shows up at your house if you don’t answer your phone, because he’s concerned. 🚩 🚩
•She has shovels and rope in the back of that car. 🚩 🚩
Ok so shit is getting real and we need bigger flags. Then over time it becomes obvious…
She’s a violent psychopath.
He’s a whole hotep.
She’s a conspiracy theorist.
He is David Koresh meets Jim Jones.
And she might be a contract killer.
So back to my story… first dude was critical of my friends and super curious about my job, especially my pay. That turned into him being critical of me and asking me questions about my finances that just were not going to get answered at that point in our relationship. Then it escalated and he brought out his big guns… talking about wanting to be married to “help me” (pause)
and to “put our money together.” Naw playa. So those little red flags became big red flags which became…burning all that shit down to the ground.
I had ignored 432 red flags. You see, that’s the thing with red flags, we ignore those little signs until they become so big and we are so invested, it is much harder to pry yourself away from the danger. When we finally realize we about to be out here bold as hell after dealing with some loser, so much damage is done, either we are red hot with anger, in the red and full of regret, or ready to set fire to anything standing or moving! But the red flags were always there. We told ourselves they were white flags or red kites, and let our emotions rule. Many of us fail to give our rational minds much space when it comes to matters of the heart. But like red flags do, they line the path to drinking poison Kool-Aid or being tied up in the back of an El Camino.
Maya Angelou said it best… it would be a Black woman giving us the ultimate wisdom on red flags… “When someone shows you who they are, believe them!”