“Hello, may I speak to Barbara
Barbara, this is Shirley
You might not know who I am
But the reason I am calling you is because…”
This is a reflection post, as I believe it is important to look back and figure out lessons learned after a long term relationship has ended. We already know the dude is dirty… we have established that in many an article, blog, Tik Tok, etc. But what about when Shirley calls you with that bone, and wants to have this woman to woman conversation about some fool she claims is hers… well the main issue is often that conversation is missing one of the women. Cuz only a fool will call another woman that the man she is bussin it open for is committed to. Only person she should be talking to is him.
But when you ring my phone with that mess, you have invoked my dislike of him and of you. And ya’ll both about to get laid out.
I had a wild ass fool ass broad calling me about a man I believed was only committed to me, and while it was devastating at the time, who knows how long I would have sat in deception were it not for that call. For that, the realization that he had exposed me to her, I am grateful… so I could peace out. But the chaotic hood trash shit that followed, now that was some Shirley playing the victim mess I could have done without. She called me from several numbers so every time I blocked her she called me from her mama’s phone, her kids’ phones, the one payphone left in the city, any phone she could find. She left a series of breadcrumbs for me to hear to finally lay out this betrayal like puzzle pieces waiting for the last few pieces to fit into place. I mean she called me from here, she called me from there, if she was anywhere, she called me from there. This bitch Dr Seussed me into confusion.
But when she started giving me back personal information about the inner workings of my home, I got all The Night the Lights went out in Texas, and I started smelling blood. I felt like Lafayette.
Ladies, don’t do this. If you are engaging with a man and you know he has promised commitment to someone else, don’t play victim. You knew what was up, you participated with full knowledge. Don’t attempt to ruin the heart of another woman just because you willingly chose to be other, and she believed herself to be only… and he was only concerned with her remaining to believe that with no concern for your feelings. You chose that. But calling someone that did not and dragging your bone to them is not cool. It might get you busted in the head or it might get you put on blast. So when you doing this woman to woman call, keep all that in mind. Luckily for the broad who did this to me, I have way more to lose, he clearly wasn’t shit to have, and I chose peace instead of violence… mainly because of point number one. But several of my girlfriends offered to handle you as long as I had bail.
So keep your conversation with him, and don’t harass and deliver chaos to someone else to help you feel justified in your heaux-ism. I don’t care what he told you, you knew the deal and you decided to be girlfriend #2. Stand up in the shit you chose. Find some self-esteem and a therapist. But leave other folks out of it Shirley…