How to be a Professional

Johnny Gill can’t dance. Period. He can keep up when he’s dancing with Ralph and them, but he proved to us he couldn’t dance. You remember…

He tried. He put in his best shiny leather outfit and sprayed his hair with a lil extra S-Curl activator… and we appreciated it at the time, but the brother can.not.dance. Most of the video he looked like he was having a spasm. We can applaud his attempt, while simultaneously acknowledging that he was bad at it. He’s great at singing. Just not dancing. But he sings so well… and he tries so hard to get that Brooke Payne group choreo down… we lose sight of his bad dancing. And when bro gets the mic, he spazzes on that joint. Johnny Gill is a professional.

Some people attempt really hard to be good at something… but they are just not. Perhaps their lack is a function if circumstance or of skill. But it is a requirement that they do the shit. When you suck at something… you know it’s not something you are good at because you cannot execute it well, you can’t figure out how to navigate it as it changes, and you can’t move around in it. But if you are a professional, you do everything else that job, project, program, team requires like a boss. It’s so on time its early… it’s so honest it’s transparent. It is what professionalism requires. You must learn to thug that shit out.

On the tv show So You Think You Can Dance… each of the dancers has a style they prefer. Yet to win, to be considered the next big dancer… and many of the winners have gone on to have huge careers… they must be good at everything from the waltz to hip hop. Why? Well to ensure they understand the fundamentals of dance and aren’t just skilled at one modality. Teachers, must be able to communicate well, keep up with changes and new information in the subject they teach, know their students so they are aware if their strengths and weaknesses and their learning styles, and be able to articulate to students, parents, and administrators the clear expectations and goals of their classroom. Doctors must be able to adapt to changes in how in-person businesses and services are run, quell fears in their patients about their health while promoting best practices to stay healthy, educate their staff and patients, and remain dedicated to the health and well-being of patients. They can’t just salsa they must also merengue.

The pandemic has put pressure on people in their work environments in ways I have never seen in my lifetime. It is during this time, however, like any other valley, where the true Mount Rushmore level folks are made… diamonds are formed under pressure. Most of us watching a ballet never have a clue that the dancer missed a whole step or forgot a sequence and filled it in with moves of her own. She keeps moving and dancing like it was choreographed exactly as she performed it. Most of us watching a New Edition performance don’t focus on JG’s questionable dance skills. He just manages to blend in when he’s dancing because he’s gonna stand out when he sings … so I fully expect for folks to remain fucking professional during this time, even through lack, flaws, and frustration. Professionalism is remaining reliable which leads to consistency, which results in trust.

So over the course of this year, someone has been exhibiting their GROSS lack of ability to communicate. She cannot recall conversations had in person. She requires written communication as proof of what was said from others, but when I engaged her in written communication to solve a problem… this mofo tried to Big Red me…

But (1) I have a PhD in receipt collecting, (2) you wanna screenshot me, I’ve got better screenshots, and (3) fuck your office hours. If my verbal communication is questioned by you, then certainly you know I won’t ever trust or engage in verbal communication with you ever again. Everything will be in writing. Everything for Evermore.

More important than her lack of communication though, was her simultaneous lack of organization, lack of adaption, and lack of focus on the most important part of the job… those she serves. She was not reliable or consistent, so both her words and her deeds were untrustworthy. Her lack of professionalism was on display, and in that moment she was not Johnny Gill… sis couldn’t even hold a note AND she was rhythmless. Get off the stage.

I had sat through her show since March, and I could and still can appreciate that it must be difficult to keep track of and remain fully engaged in conversation when life and times are stressful. I understand that, so at first I was okay with her poor communication skills… I figured they were affected by the pandemic. But you will not talk down to me, like I’m slow, for long, for any reason. You most certainly will not do it when you can’t seem to remain dedicated to all of your other responsibilities as well. She was a teacher with no communication skills and no clue how to navigate the new and flawed way of learning. She was a doctor with poor bedside manner. A lawyer with no real analytical skills. An actuary who was bad at math. Furthermore she was a dancer who didn’t memorize choreography, practice, or have rhythm. And I have no time for her shenanigans.

So I challenged her to a dance battle.

She led with this…

And I finished her in one move…

After the issue was solved… after a whole month of her failing to respond to, acknowledge, and hear my concerns… I sent her a concise and comprehensive piece of organized prose about her behavior via email. Be very clear, don’t play with me. I will dog walk you. If you are professional, I can overlook your flaws like I hope people can overlook mine in light of my virtues. But if you want smoke, you want ‘em, I got ‘em. I will boo your ass off stage.

But if you Johnny Gill me… I will look past your bad dancing, and wait until you woo me with your “oh oh oh oh oooooooo ouuuu ooooo” on Can You Stand the Rain. That’s the true sign of a professional, even when it’s raining, they open their umbrella and…

Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain

Black… and Yellow

Some mediocre singer made a song calling herself (and referencing men who want) a “yellowbone” or light skin Black woman with yellow undertones… similar to the term “redbone” which refers to lighter skin Black women with red undertones (perhaps from mixed heritage with Native Americans). Folks are like “OUTRAGE” it’s colorism.

The system of privilege that is begat from favoring people of lighter skin color over those of blacker skin color… that is colorism. Talking, singing, writing about complexion is not colorism, Being light skinned should not be a source of shame because it comes with privilege… mainly privilege we didn’t request and don’t want. I can assure you as a “redbone”, I don’t want any parts of colorism. Matter of fact don’t call me a redbone. My preference.

Ya’ll… we cannot be this silly. Let this girl make a song and get her coin. She’s light skinned, she thinks she’s the bees knees, let her. Men have been referencing redbones in their songs for decades, and nobody writes whole articles about some random song. But again, the problem here is that (1) women are held to a different standard than men and expected to stifle ourselves to promote and suport the masses when the masses don’t support us and (2) Black folks think we can ALL only be about some universally Black ideal and anything else is a problem.

Women can’t tall about our bodies, our hair, our wants, our dreams, the kind if men we want, nothing without some backlash on how what we said makes us look. I’m a hoe if I’m comfortable with my sexuality. Im a golddigger if I like men with their finances in order. I’m a golddigging hoe if I only date men who have stock options. But he can want a hoe, talk about his money, swipe his credit card down some chick’s ass and it’s all good. Hell Lil Wayne had a song Redbone Girl and Childish Gambino’s hit … like BIG HIT… was just entitled Redbone. But Danileigh (I know nothing about her so I had to look up her name) says “Yellowbone” and she’s a full on racist. Stop it. Stay woke.

Black people run the gamut from the palest to the darkest with everything in between. She simply said “Yellowbone that’s what he wants
Prada, me in Saint Laurent”… not Pulitzer Prize winning lyrics… but not worthy of outrage. It’s fake outrage. Be clear, it’s a horrible song and I’m sonically outraged, my ears are upset… but that’s it. She didn’t put anyone down. I think team light-skinned is dumb… but SO IS team dark-skinned… because we are one team. The facts are some men/women prefer light skin, some men/women prefer dark skin. It’s all good, like hair, it’s skin… it covers your body, it’s great. Whatever color it is. Bug let the girl sing her little song.

“French Vanilla, Butter Pecan, Chocolate Deluxe…

… even Caramel Sundae” (Ice Cream, Wu Tang)

It makes ZERO sense that a light skinned woman cannot attest to her virtues the same way a brown skinned woman is celebrated for attesting to hers… despite the past or the present. A brown sister posts that she’s a beautiful chocolate melanated Queen and “Yaaaassssssssssss” fill the comments. We should all get that same love if we celebrate ourselves. Black women are the least celebrated people walking the planet… all of us should come together to big up each other, skin color be damned. If she thinks she’s “sweeter and thicker than a Chico stick” (Sometimes I Rhyme Slow, Nice & Smooth) then that’s her prerogative the same as “drip broke the levees when my Kellys roll in” (Brown Skin Girl, Beyoncé). As long as she’s not proclaiming that she is the only image of beauty in the diaspora of Black skin… it’s all good. Relax.

Again, we have to stop being so judgmental of whatever sits outside of the box that Black Twitter has created. We are not meant to fit in… boxes or stereotypes. It is a stereotype that all light skin Black women are conceited, narcissistic, and vain. It is a vestige of racism that dark skin is inherently bad and therefore lighter skin automatically means a person is smarter, kinder, more beautiful, more desirable, more refined, worth more. That’s a lie that has been told to us… because in general we are darker than those who built the White power structure. It isn’t light skinned Black people racism was meant to exalt… be very clear! These ideas are not our own, they were given to us. It’s time to give them back. We can’t get over this hump because it has been so deeply ingrained that the lie keeps getting passed down in our DNA. I personally have benefitted from that dumb ass line of thinking and never ever wanted it.

There is a reason why a lot of militant ass folks… Huey P Newton, Malcolm X, Angela Davis, Kathleen Cleaver were light skin Black people… on the receiving end of racism but somehow labeled the perpetrators of colorism. Nope… I will not be the bearer of your hate because the darkness if my skin was tainted by your rapist kinfolk. FOH! While it’s hurtful to be on the receiving end of racism and colorism surely, it is MADDENING to be both hated and seen as the puppet of your hater. I don’t subscribe to any tenets or byproducts if racism. I see beauty in all that Black people are… and I don’t have to damn any part of it as pennance for my privilege. I’m militant AF. Black mixed with Black. Be completely clear. I’m also smart, cute, and the whole bag. My skin color is apart of me just like my eye and hair color. All together that shit is popping. I hope you feel the same about yourself!

Frankly, Im tired if discourse on this subject, but it’s still a very real source of trauma for Black people. As such, I’ll do my minuscule part in helping solve the problem. But we gotta start with giving each other a bit more grace. If we are going to chastise this girl, let’s berate her on the quality of this song… cuz it swings real low on that scale. But if Childish Gambino can sing to his “peanut butter chocolate cake with Kool-Aid” (Redbone)… then she can sing about being yellow. Revamp those he-man woman haters club bylaws and take the fake outrage out. These ultra raggedy dudes still out here calling beautiful brown skinned women “blackie”… be outraged about that shit please!

“Let the Willie Lynch theory reverse a million times with Complexion/Complexion don’t mean a thing…”Complexion, Kendrick Lamar

Cleaning out our Closet

I have a friend who has a personal styling business. She helps people revamp their wardrobes by trying on everything, purging what no longer serves them, keeping and restyling things they love into outfits that speak to their personal style. This leaves you giving the world the image of yourself that is all you, void of societal stereotypes, other’s personal opinions, and style that doesn’t deliver a message of confidence and beauty that is all your own. You… purified.

Photo Credit: @accordingtodenitra // Photo by :@allenbphotography //

Black people need to do that for the culture. Clean out our closets. Rid ourselves of these ideas and tropes that come from the vestiges of slavery and marginalization that we have accepted as cultural truths… but that don’t fit our authentic narrative. We have to ensure our communications and actions are delivering our current message with deliberate purpose.

Wait, you ain’t HEAR ME!

We have to ensure our walk AND our talk are deliberately and purposefully delivering the message of the culture!

“Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have, I’ve been protested and demonstrated against…” Eminem Cleaning out my Closet

When we arrived in America, we were renamed. Given names that stripped us of our personal and familial African identity that were replaced with names considered acceptable by White slave owners. The Kunta/Toby phenomenon. Today we tell children with unique, ancestral, and strong names that they should go by their middle names to ensure they get a job, or change their names as soon as the hit 18 or they will struggle being successful. I call bullshit! Beyoncé, Barack, Oprah, Denzel, Taraji, Tiger, Tupac, Ta-Nehisi, Denitra…

We were forced to become other than the proud Africans we were by stripping us of our identity. These names, if we embody and accept them, are like taking back our power. Denitra is Romanian for purify. Taraji is Swahili for hope. Beyoncé is a slight variation of her Grandmother’s last name. Ta-Nehisi is Egyptian for Land of Blacks. We tell our children to be leaders not followers. Stand out and don’t fit in. Embrace differences. To then have them be ashamed of a name given to them with pride and meaning is absurd. So don’t be too quick to denounce little DeVanté (Spanish: fighter of wrongs) he might become a successful songwriter and producer. If Elon Musk can name his child X Æ A-12… well then anything goes.

Similarly, we have accepted some other trash values from the “How to Train Your Slave” massa how-to book that belongs in some historical crypt underneath the Smithsonian. The paper bag test, the one drop rule, and every such flawed truth of this ilk are damaging and not on message. All of us are of mixed race, no matter how small or large the percentages. It is likely that the majority of White people in America have a drop, spoonful, or heaping helping of Black blood … so it’s clearly not a well thought out racist ideology. More importantly, it was intended to relegate anyone with Negro blood to second class citizenship. In 1911, Arkansas passed Act 320 (House Bill 79), also known as the “one-drop rule.” This isn’t a Black pride… we all Black… truth, it’s a racist framework.

So now we use it to both claim everyone with Black ancestry, which is cool, if you ancestrally and biologically identify, then we welcome you. It is also used to shame Black people who dare acknowledge all parts of their ancestry. Kamala Harris is hated because she acknowledges and is proud of her Indian and Jamaican nationality. That’s ludicrous. She is both Black and Asian, period. She doesn’t have to choose, she is both. Similarly, there is the rapper who goes by the name Mulatto… I hate the name as it is a racially offensive term…to acknowledge her mixed race heritage. She should be proud of all that she is, I just want her to use a name that is not akin to calling herself a “mule”… a racist trope about Black women. We have to be on message and aware. It is all reminiscent of Tiger Woods attempting to embrace all that he is when he coined the phrase “cablinasian” We don’t have to embrace these slave master rules that go against our message. We also don’t have to make up names or use derogatory names to show our pride in all that we are. Black people have been forced to live inside a box for decades, in order to achieve true freedom, we must be all of what and who we are. That doesn’t make us any less Black, but it surely makes is more free.

So let’s purge these words and actions that promote racist ideology from our collective closet, and let’s embrace those that fit our message… that Black people are dope, free, excellent, and releasing ourselves from the chains of racist policies, systems, and messages… for the culture! That means we can name our children anything from Madison to Masai and we can embrace our heritage, all of it, even the parts that are not Black. None of this makes us more or less who we are… Black people. We come in every hue of the sepia rainbow and every iteration of excellence there is. We have to be proud of it for that pride to register within the American conscience. No one else has to like it, but if we stay on message, they must respect it.

“Not taking nothing from no one, give ’em hell long as I’m breathing,
Keep kicking ass in the morning and taking names in the evening” Eminem, Cleaning out My Closet

Check out Denitra Gregory at https://www.unforgettableyoullc.com/

The Double Standards of WAP

I’m just gonna jump right in…

So I just watched the video for the remix of Throat Baby… featuring DaBaby and City Girls by BRS Kash. I feel like I need to pray the rosary and do five Hail Marys. Shit was gross. If you are on social media you have likely been exposed to this trash. So women can’t talk about their OWN bodies, yet it’s okay for men to talk about depositing their spermatazoa into a woman’s THROAT… excuse my language, but… NIGGA please!

I watched these little men dive into and go skiing down a white snow bluff into a scene that mimicked the inside of a woman’s mouth and esophagus, and then do an ultrasound of a woman’s throat with a baby growing inside. Now understand, what grown consenting adults do is their business, but a song that equates a woman’s mouth with a receptacle for these raggedy negroes DNA is foul AF! Even more so are the visuals. WAP didn’t disgust me, this shit did. But yet, I hear crickets. I bet ya’ll dudes like this trash. Sing along in the car and shit.

Cardi B and Meg the Stallion talk about what they do with their OWN body parts and suddenly women don’t want to be respected, they deserve to be mistreated, and if they dare speak on their own sexuality they are hoes. Then they dared to dance half-dressed like all strippers and “models” dudes follow on instagram wear… out loud, in public… but away from the private gaze. Hoes times infinity. Did I sum that up correctly for the ultra raggedy fellas… and dried up prudish broads?!?

Despite how much men are trying to get them some WAP… I mean let’s just keep it all the way 100, everything ya’ll have aspired to since about age 14 has been in pursuit of the wappiest WAP you could find…the hate was palpable. Be clear, we know you love vagina. Be clearer, a lot of you despise the human vessels that they belong to. We are painfully aware.

Despite how much prudes hem and haw about the virtues of being a lady, they secretly wish to be so free but are fearful of what someone else will think of them. They hide their freak in the dark and bring her out on birthdays and Valentine’s Day. We know why you act like you do.

HYPOCRITES!!!!

No one is talking about how fucking disrespectful this is, how gross, how foul, how vomit inducing it is for this person to dare think anyone would want any parts of him near their mouth. If they do it is ONLY because he made a song and they got dreams to buy expensive things like Jazmine. I’m all for creative expression, so I personally could care less. He can rap about whatever he wants, because I support women expressing themselves, even in ways I don’t personally agree with. “Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” is not up to you, it’s up to her. This isn’t about your personal preference, but your what’s good for the goose is too foul for the gander mentality. Who you doing that foul shit with sir?!? Whose throat you having a baby in?!? You get what you put out. You slut shame and try to police women’s expression of their sexuality, you get this kind of wretched ass pharnyx…

… and the men who love and respect sexy & confident women get this kinda quality WAP!

You peasants disgust me! The least you could do is not be so obvious with your double standards.

Comma La

So I know today I will hear every rendition of Vice President Kamala Harris’s first name as there are versions of Yesterday by the Beatles…

Ka-Mah-la; Cam-ah-la; Kamal-ah…its Comma-La! Get it right!

But no matter what you call her… she’s a boss, a leader, a G, and higher up the political food chain than every single white supremacist on the PLANET. 🤷🏽‍♀️ And today she is every Black woman’s assurance that we are dope, capable, and necessary! I am my sister’s keeper… and I am my sister.

Black Women DO

We have been trying to tell you. We have been organizing lives since we stepped stolen foot onto American soil. We were 80% of the female population of America. We brought our knowledge of medicine, herbs, cuisine, midwifery, child-rearing, and the feminine gender to a relatively male populated land. We birthed the first generation of America. Our role as child-rearer, cook, cleaner, and house maid in White households meant many American sensibilities about women were taught by us and then simultaneously denied to us… denied as part of our nature and to us in practice. And this has continued into present day.

Black Women CAN

Yet despite what racist American policies were at play, either during slavery, Jim Crow, or now in the age of technology… we persisted. Harriet Tubman was a revolutionary and abolitionist. Shirley Chisholm ran for President. Mae Jemison went into space. Nina Simone sang freedom songs. Toni Morrison wrote novels that taught us who we were. Oprah became a billionaire. Kamala will be the Vice President. And despite what was thrown at us… the mass incarceration of our men, lack of opportunity, low wages, we organized and we found a way. We braided hair, did nails, sewed, made fish dinners, baked cakes, babysat, did taxes, learned real estate, made wigs, hustled and came into our own using what we knew and the resources available to us. Single mothers put themselves and kids through school. Grandmothers raised children while parents worked multiple jobs to feed them. We are the real American Dream.

Black Women LEAD

We lead our children to college and beyond. We lead the companies we worked for in entry level jobs into multi billion dollar wins for their White owners. We lead ourselves into prosperous entrepreneurship through our support of each other even when we were shut out of small business grants and loans. We lead in the increase in Bachelors, Masters , and Doctorate degrees in the last 20 years. We lead by babysitting for each other so we can take that late night class. We lead by sacrificing for our children and grandchildren. We lead by being of service to everyone, all the time. We lead because we are bosses.

Black Women ARE

So today when Kamala (Comma-La) becomes the first Black Vice President and the first woman Vice President in the history of this nation… Black women everywhere will feel a sense of vindication for each and every moment we were assumed to be incapable. Assumed because that is what the privileged and biased have convinced themselves to explain their biased policies. All along, I believe those same folks knew we were more capable than even we knew. They are still chasing the legacies of their ancestors. My sistas… we are the manifestation of the hopes and dreams of our ancestral Kunte, Kizzy, Binta, Chicken George, Fiddler, and Omoro. We are rooted in greatness, and our names are extensions if the greatness our parents saw in our eyes minutes after we entered the world. The greatness of Barack. The star power of Beyoncé. The legend of Thurgood. The genius of Oprah. The history of Kamala.

Oh, and like they could pronounce Kunte’s name but called him Toby in order to break him from his lineage of greatness, they can pronounce Kamala too… they just disrespectful AF. But I bet they can say Madame Vice President…

Kamala Harris by Tracie Ching

Not Your Sally Hemmings

So one of the Proud Boys that broke into, raided, looted, and staged a coup attempt at the U.S. Capitol, after and because of a historic election and historic day for Black people, politics, and leadership in this country, has a Black wife and a biracial baby… so TF what?

Slave masters raped their female slaves and made biracial babies all the time. Hell, one of your President’s had a whole family with a slave woman. But she still had to fetch him a glass of water and empty his chamber pot. He loved to bed her but still clearly believed her so inferior he would continue to own her, work her for free, and take her body. He fell in love with the cocoa but not the woman. Cuz Thomas, like Proud Boy Billy or whatever his name is, had a fetish for Black women. That has nothing to do with love.

Black women have been in the receiving end of racial fetishization since colonial times, and now it has expanded. Historically, Saartje Barttman was used in freak shows to titillate audiences because of her curvaceous body, just furthering the stereotype of the Black woman as animalistic and sexually motivated. Innocent Black slave girls were described as so sexual that their rapist masters feigned lack of control in falling for their sexual prowess. Black women are often the source of the White male gaze but not his respect.

Today, plus size Black women are sought after because of fetishes of being with thicker women (freakier, more sexually free, more willing to please stereotypes… all bullshit) who are at the same time degraded and fat shamed publicly, in some attempt to hide and shame like you ain’t ready for all the jelly. FOH. We are desired by some men the darker we are (typically White men) and others because of how light we are (typically minority men). Different sexual personalities are attributed to dark skin and light skin women that often have no place in reality. The size and shape of our asses are the fetish of women and men, from non-Black women obsessed with squats and ass shots to famous women using surgery to alter their bodies to be known for the size of their butt. Many Black women take advantage of these fetishes… especially financially… displaying themselves on social media to draw fans and make money, adding to and profiting iff of the stereotype. But I’m not really mad at grown women getting their coins. But the fetishization of Black women has morphed over time from something practiced by the White male power circle to the mainstream.

So who knows what Billy’s thing is… who cares. The bottom line is, if sis wasn’t aware of who she was with before, she is now. If she knew and was ok with it, it wouldn’t be my thing, but I don’t know her life. If she just found out, I hope she makes good decisions moving forward… because he was a bad one. He is the poster boy for hatred and racism, wrapped in a cloak of acceptance and diversity. Welp… bruh is now exposed as the treasonist racist that he is. And she is either his beard of non-bias or some sick twisted Black hate fetish. Either one is fucked up. But you cannot love what you hate, that we know.

Let’s be very aware of the negativity out in the world that can sabotage our success. A woman looking for love should not ever settle for being some man’s fetish… his redhead fetish, his fat girl fetish, his girls with six toes fetish, none of that shit. Is he into you or what you are… that’s a very nuanced thing but a very real thing nonetheless. Be as discriminating about who you give yourself to as the selfies you post. Make sure he’s good to you and for you. Black women are not our weight, skin color, hair texture, headwraps, ass, waist to hips ratio, or the scent of peaches or African oils that wafts behind us as we walk. We are whole entire women whose brain, emotions, and spirit matter just as much as our fineness… cuz we fine AF, be very clear!

These fools ain’t Thomas Jefferson and you MOST CERTAINLY in 2021 are not his Sally Hemings.

A Jelly Doughnut

What the fuck was that?????

You might as well call it a jelly doughnut , cuz that mess that we watched on tv was WILD af. It was full fledged Neantherthal Park and the natives got outta their cages and acted a whole dam fool in the chambers and offices of the United States Capitol building. They swarmed that joker like Killer Bees, but with Davy Crockett hats, bull horns, Confederate Flags, and MAGA hats.

“I came to bring the pain…” (Bring the Pain, Method Man)

I mean these fools chased a guard, howled like upright man without language skills, scaled walls both inside and outside like primates, commandeered the Senate’s leaderships seats in chambers, and kicked their feet up on somebody’s desk and turned on the TV. Somebody tried to steal a podium.

“So come on steal away…” (Steal Away, Etta James)

It was rioting and looting on the biggest platform… instead of carrying out TVs these jokers wanted to club democracy over the head and fireman’s carry it out of the legislature like it’s hillbilly bride to be. Except these aren’t hillbilly’s, by day they wear suits or uniforms or take your order. But somewhere in their history they owned or controlled folks who look like you and now we been in the White House and in a few days we’ll be taking over the very Senate chamber they desacrated , so they mad mad. But what was this really about?

“We’re walkin’ real proud and we’re talkin’ real loud” (In America, Charlie Daniels Band)

Privilege

It was about knowing that even if you BREAK INTO the U. S. Capitol, threaten police, scare federal workers, interrupt the Senate Electoral College Vote Confirmation, and have to be forced to exit the premises, your White skin will save you from harm. No matter the harm you cause. So much so you can chase a whole Black police officer through the building, be identified, and still go unpunished. I mean why not just kick your feet while you wait to be escorted out all alive and shit.

“Kick off your shoes and relax your feet…” (Just Kickin, XScape)

Racism

Sure the President incited a riot… but we all know he’s the spawn of all that is evil and unwell. These clowns we watched today, sit around waiting for a chance to act a complete ass in the name of white supremacy, white power, white control, and white nationalism. They want our Black asses in shackles or nooses, and despise nothing more than losing to a negra. And lose to the negroes, they did. Stacey Abrahms, LaTosha Brown, the late great John Lewis who backed Jon Ossoff, and Reverend Doctor Raphael Warnock beat.that.ass. in grand fashion. And they are big mad. Mad that Black women showed up and out to elect Biden and Harris. Made that Black folks flipped the Senate. And ready to jump in their El Caminos with their 2x4s and run up in the Capitol like Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

“Hooooooooooo!” (2×4: Hacksaw Jim Duggan Theme, Jim Johnston)

Violence

This is what supremacists, nationalists, and a bunch of angry & absurd white men do… murder, death, kill. They are angry because they didn’t get their way, absurd because they have the complete audacity to believe they are ALWAYS supposed to, and violent when they don’t! Their forefathers stole humans, and the great great great grandchildren of those humans now sit next to them in boardrooms, Senate and House chambers, and educate their children. They mad mad. So they wave their confederate pro-slavery flags and don their MAGA hats, break into shit, and cause a ruckus. They are the original No Limit soldiers, and today they came to Tear Da Club Up. And if people die, they die.

“I ain’t never scared…” (Never Scared, Bone Crusher)

Today was treasonous activity on full display! it was all that is wrong with America, and it’s not new or novel but neanderthalian and narcissistic. Meanwhile, Black people watched ya’ll commit crime after crime, riot, loot, incite violence, and scare people, knowing had it been us, come next Friday there would be slow singing on Zoom and virtual flower bringing. Yet, we just watched y’all, like a live version of some Liam Neeson movie, walk out alive and intact. We laughed at parts. We cried at parts. Then left out like, “That shit was wild!”

But that part when y’all climbed up the walls like monkeys. Don’t you ever fix yo mouth to call not one of us a gorilla ever again. Not never.

Yesterday all of their filth was put on display for everyone to see… the racist flags, violence, hatred, and their audacious privilege. They mobbed the Senate chambers to scare them into inaction. Yet they wore the flag on their faces and carried it over their shoulder, while they spat on the tenets of the Constitution. These clowns don’t support law or order… they follow the commands of a fascist. “Stop the Steal” was chanted. Isn’t that cute, from the sons of the biggest thieves in history. The blood of men who stole millions of people runs through the veins of everyone who broke into the U.S. Capitol. Their actions show they fear their privilege is dwindling, and the rest of us are tired of their raggedy asses.

“I’m barely hanging on” (Barely Hanging On, A-ha)

“It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on…” America! (Full Metal Jacket, Stanley Kubrick).

Check Your Energy… all 2021

Yooooooooooooooooooo…. 2020 is over! It was a fucked up set of months. Everybody got sick in January, probably pre-pandemic COVID cuz hindsight is always… ok bad cliché . Anyway….My kid came home from school in February. I came home in March. My boonapolis (Greek for bestie) caught COVID and was sick for what seemed like an eternity to me in April, and lots of people tested my gangster by assuming they are far more important to the journey than the station they occupy along the route. You can’t sit with us… Sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyway, from May to September, the time I’d usually be running around the city like the streets is mine, I was at home, slightly depressed and deeply anxious. In October, COVID numbers flew up as folks started going back out into the world and kissing in the mouth. I spent my November birthday doing nothing, my Thanksgiving with just the family in my home, and December just prepping for more of the same! Who sanctioned this madness?

We wore masks all year. We couldn’t go to concerts or restaurants. I ordered more shit online than should be legal. I also helped fund someone at Door Dash’s kid through medical school. We wanted a cure or vaccine, now we have one that most of us won’t be able to get for months. We hoarded toilet paper and Lysol but most if us don’t have Reckitt Benckiser (look it up) in our investment portfolio or realize those stockpiles of AngelSoft and Quilted Northern had just made the Koch Brothers richer.

So now that we are past it, and have just 19 days before we usher in a new regime into America… a little reflection is necessary to assess where we are so we can figure out what we need to do. I know I need to do a lot of burpees cuz COVID calories are a real thing.

We’ve been living under a cloud of hate, anger, death, insecurity, fear, and frustration for not just the last year, but the last four. Its time… yep yep… time to make a change! We ALL need an energy shift. The thing about energy is that it is the building block of all things… life and living. Learning how it functions is the greatest life lesson there is. It’s the beat over which all dope tracks are laud. You just gotta learn how to finesse that shit…

Healing was the word for 2020. Energy is the word for 2021. To summon great vibes, you guessed it, you have to emit that same energy. It truly is that simple. For every action there is an opposite but equal reaction… you will learn that lesson over and over until you grasp it. What you see happen in your life is a direct reflection of what type of energy you have put out. It’s truly a game changer. Mirror what you want… equal but opposite… if you want to receive it in your left hand, give with your right. You no longer have to worry about who is doing what to you, what someone else thinks of you or has intended for you… just be a giver of the type of energy you wish to receive. Thass it. Thass all. Let’s process.

Insecurity ran rampant in 2020. Isolation, loneliness, uncertainty, lack of motivation, and lack of progress can do that to you. So many of us were overtly seeking validation outside of ourselves, and in the middle of a global pandemic and economic disaster, there were few people with enough mental energy to give that out beyond their immediate circle. So you could literally read the insecurity pouring out of people. And as much as others may have wanted to reassure and support, folks only have so much to give before their cup runneth empty. So now it’s time to make shift. We must all take some time to give to ourselves… take inventory of what you are doing and how awesome it is, spend time figuring out who you are and what you want, and self-validate. When you know how awesome you are, others will know it too, through osmosis… a transference of energy. You will attract all the bosses and the boos. Vibes.

Similarly, if you are holding on to fear and anger from past grudges, let that go. Trust the vibes. People who mean you harm will give off negative energy that leaves the room feeling moist, like it’s a breeding ground for nastiness. They will have an unfiltered and dusty ass air about them that makes you want to hold your nose and move quickly around them. While you are busy being your authentically kind and fabulous self, your energy will clash with theirs so you can see their smog take over the surroundings. Energy attracts like energy and repels unlike energy. What they think if you truly becomes none of your business… because your only true business is surrounding yourself with folks who return your dopeness and kindness with dopeness and kindness. Vibes.

And if you are unsure of your level of importance, the amount of relationship equity you have in a situation, trust that if you don’t already know, if the connect ain’t connected to you, you probably aren’t as high up the chain as you thought you were.

Check the vibes, and act accordingly.

Sending your coochie through the phone

Ok so I am not calling ANYONE a ho… period. Your coochie, ultimately you do what you want with it. However, if you really want some semblance of a relationship you cannot serve yourself up like a T-bone, and expect the recipient of the meal to keep the bone after he is done. that’s now trash… it’s meatless, it’s dry, it’s pointless. So let’s stop hoping someone will take a bite by broadcasting ourselves as not just available, but ready, wide open, and STILL available. Sis put your phone down, binge watch a show, make a smoothie, stretch, window shop online, plan your next house project, read a book, look up some stocks, apply a face sheet mask, something… but stop sending your coochie through the phone. That ain’t the way.

Single folks get a bad rap… why you single, how are you single, what’s wrong with you, blah blah blah. The older you get the more intrusive snd ridiculous the inquiries and assumptions get. The game people play pitting married women against single women… is even more problematic and ridiculous. Be clear, the entire point is to be happy and successful… and there are many married women who are miserable. They have been cheated on, cheaters, lied to, liars, stolen from, disrespected, and chosen many times to stay with that loser because they’d rather be unhappy than single. All of that is their business, until they claim their married status makes them better or somehow in a better state than you because you are single. Nope. So I get the whole dilemma. But I’m here to tell you it’s bullshit and your coochie deserves better treatment than to be laid bare and unprotected as a lure for a man. Your coochie is lure for a man in panties, stockings, pants, and a full length coat. It’s like a worm to a fish… you ain’t gotta do nothing but have one. Then don’t let it be attached to someone dope and smart and loving… girl bye… you the whole prize. But you diminish that prize when you send your coochie through the phone. Don’t do it.

Plus it’s a whole pandemic. I get it, it’s highly entertaining scrolling through inbox messages and having conversations with folks from all walks of life interested in your wares… but trust me, The Undoing is more entertaining. Put your phone down. I also know that it can be a lonely time for folks who live alone. But folks carrying COVID in their pockets, so the most you can do safely is talk or engage on social media… and once you have pulled him with ur coochie he really isnt interested in your life story. So just be sure of what you want, and act accordingly. Cuz what you lead with is what you plead with… you can’t go asking for quality time and words of affirmation when you were only seemingly seeking horizontal attention and hinting at mouth massages at the outset.

See no matter how much Shawnee Easton tried to get Q to take her bait, he wanted Monica. She didn’t have to do anything but comb her hair and put on a dress and baby was banging. He stared a hole through her. She didn’t have to twerk on him, promise to “leave him satisfied” or otherwise make it known she was ready for whatever. She was who she was and that was enough…. say what, oh you are just being who you are too? Girl bye. Behavior and personal traits are not one in the same. Being easy isn’t a personality trait it’s a bad behavior. Stop. When we can identify why we are acting a certain way, whether it be insecurity, constant disappointment, fear of lack of control, etc. then our outward actions as a result are behaviors not personal qualities we are born with or nurtured into. Nope again. I guarantee, if you work on bring authentically you, the right guy will notice and come scoop you like the French Vanilla, Butter Pecan, Chocolate Deluxe treat that you are. I mean old boy is staring at her like she’s a milkshake… and you know what they say about milkshakes and boys.

Point is… mo matter what lies someone tells you or what mistruths they hide behind, no one wants to be alone. No one. So we all understand the desire to share your status so folks know you out here. But desperation and reckless availability is not whats up. A man that findeth a woman (cuz he had got to find a woman well before he finds a wife or anything else) findeth a good thing if she is a good woman… but that entails being a secure, confident, self-respecting woman. Now again, you can give your coochie to the masses and send it to the universe via rocketship if you desire… more power to you. But if what you’re really trying to effectuate is a great relationship with a great guy, chances are he has seen all the coochie grams you been sending through the phone. Great guys accept coochie grams too… but the probably won’t buy that you all Proverbs 31 too. I mean… I’m just saying… Don’t shoot the messenger.