Absorb the Light

What is Black… a color, a race, a culture, a phenomenon, a way of life?

According to James Baldwin, To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.

Is that the only experience, or is it bigger and broader or more limited? What is Black, to be Black, and the general experience of Blackness? Or is there even a such thing? Have we been defined by a word that doesn’t even begin to define who and what we are as a people?

Color Me Black

The very definition of Blackness is as broad as that of Whiteness, yet we’re seemingly always trying to find a specific, limited definition. –Issa Rae

We don’t have to seek to limit who we are to understand who we are. History tells us, without doing any serious research, that when America was colonized, Native Americans and African slaves were categorized as savage, as a justification for robbing them of their indigenous land, and forced labor and oppression. Their dark skin categorized them by color, and therefore distinct from White people. Science, religion, and intelligence were manipulated to further strengthen the position of White superiority, and hence the construct of race was born. Our dark skin put us on the lowest rung of the totem pole in America.

But America isn’t where this separation by skin color began. Plato and Socrates learned at the feet of African philosophers in Egypt, where concepts such as language and mathematics actually began… not Greece. However these truths were erased from these men’s history over time, and these modalities attributed only to White philosophers, because the admission that these men were educated by Black people would interfere with the global manipulation of race as a measure of intelligence and civility. Ultimately, race is a political construct to justify power, control, and wealth. Black is the term we were given to identify us… ultimately it means nothing.

We range from vanilla to deep dark chocolate, every hue of brown with oranges, peaches, and yellows, toned up or down with white or black pigment. Our color is very real. Our race is the pigment of the oppressor’s imagination.

I guess I’m darker than the shadows of the darkest alley, that they always scared to go in, Boo! -Brother J, X-Clan “Funkin Lessons”

Phenomenal Culture

My skin absorbs the suns rays and my hair defies gravity. You can’t tell me I’m not magical.Unknown

So we know what they told us Black is… but what is it really, who are we, and what have we made it?

Black culture is American culture. Bodies that curve, hair that salutes the sun, skin kissed by it, style influenced by global art and urban youth, hip hop, rhythm, swag, creativity. We are simultaneously a people and a phenomenon. A people and a phenomenon.

As a people, we are both perfect and imperfect. We are made in God’s perfect image with human imperfections… just people. Flesh and blood and veins and capillaries. We bleed when cut, we cry when we are in pain. We love and fear and hurt and holler… “the way they do my life.” But mainly, we live. We tend to live a bit louder as a result of years of silence. So we flex harder. We hustle harder. We dance more freely. We dress more creatively. Our speech more colorful. Our laugh more robust. Our hair bigger. Our swag doper.

It’s a result of the African drum beats in our souls. The taste of the custard apple on our tongues. The smell of lavender fields in CapeTown in our noses. The bright colors of wax print batiks dancing on our rods and cones. The feel of our fingers in our ancestors hair, coils and links, curls and cottony soft clouds.

It’s our call and response…

MC:”Somebody say oh yeah…”

The Crowd:”Oh yeah”

It’s our swag surf, our milly rock, Black Twitter, slang, cornrows, box braids, and #beardgang. It’s in our community and our sense of community. Buy Black; Black Lives Matter; Black mixed with Black; I’m Rooting for Everybody Black. It’s in our harsh judgement of each other, both despite and in response to our harsh judgements from the outside. Don’t watch Empire, build an Empire; Stop Jocking Jay-Z and Judge Jay-Z; Buy a Popeyes not a Popeyes Chicken Sandwich.

We are perfectly imperfect. We are human. But be clear, we are lit AF!

Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me. -Audre Lorde

The Light

Imitating us… and still, they’ll never be us, nigga. –Rapsody “Nina”

A whole entertainment family has profited off of our culture, so much so it’s entire set of progeny bears our blood. White pop stars show no shame copying our entire performances for their profit and popularity. And while art has no bounds, pop locking has taken over country line dancing as their dance of choice. They visit doctors to get our lips and asses. They feign our urban dialect to be down. Yeah, we are the shit… it’s true. It’s also irritating and disrespectful AF, but let’s stay on topic.

As much as we are painted as unAmerican, our very culture has been pilfered by this countries haves. The truth is, we are the chosen ones. Who else is this disrespected and this coveted all at the same time. To be Black is to be so amazing that we who we are is wanted and desired so badly, we are loathed.

Black excellence we gon let em see. Jay-Z, “Legacy

It has been exactly 400 years since we set foot in this country. In that span of time we have transformed ourselves from stolen Kings and Queen treated worse than dogs, to business owners, billionaires, artists, philanthropists, and everything our imaginations could conjure. Black people have positioned ourselves to be on par with the haves through hard work, intellect, and hustle that was kept from us by oppression, violence, and politics. We started from the bottom, and now we are definitely here. Barack. Oprah. Beyoncé. Wakanda. And while we are still very affected by the systematic use of race to threaten our rise and success, the very real truth of the matter is this…

Rainbows are one of God’s miracles, an arch of of every color on the spectrum reflected by the sun through droplets of water. The color black is the result of an object absorbing every ray of color produced by the light.

Black people carry inside of us, every color from red to violet. On the outside we are every hue of brown from the most muted beige to the most saturated umber. We are God’s human rainbow.

So, what is Black? Black is the way we walk, talk, live, and love. Black is our truth, our rhythm, our blues, our soul, our jazz, our hip, and our hop. We don’t stop. Black is the light. A people and a phenomenon.

(Thanks to Courtney Springer for the topic. He’s a comic, he’s Black, and he’s funny… {told you, we are all the things}. Check him out at Courtney2Funny )

Pay Me in Equity

What more can I say…

I admire Shawn Cater, aka Jay-Z, aka Hov. I admire, truth be told, any young Black person with a dream, who makes their dreams happen and then uses the brand they built as a result of that dream, to help the community they hail from, the people that look like him or her. I ALSO admire brilliance.

Now on to the topic.

1. Capitalism

Let’s start with all this talk about him being a capitalist…


Everyone who is successful in America is a capitalist, they live by capitalistic standards, and operate under a capitalist framework. Capitalism is simply the system of free enterprise, where individuals control trade and industry. We don’t share our income. No one has ever came and just given me some share of their profits unless they lived with me. You aren’t socialist or communist are you… well… what’s the fuss.

We live in a capitalist society. You have to think like a capitalist if you want to effect change in a nation built upon the backs of other humans for the sake of capitalism. It’s a mindset many Black Americans simply don’t understand and frankly are uncomfortable with, and that is where we are complicit in our own oppression. Yes, I said it. Racism is a systematic system of oppression that the privileged use to disenfranchise people because of their race in order to strengthen their own privilege financially, socially, and politically. They are able to effectuate this system with wealth.

2. Negotiation And Social Justice

A revolution, or change of power structures, can be done one or two ways, fighting or negotiating. We can either break the doors down or get invited in. A very large majority of the people on the low end of the power continuum believe that working within that system makes you a sellout. However anyone who resides anywhere on the outskirts of that world knows that one foot inside of it brings resources, tools, opportunity that can change lives. Within that world lives justice, financial freedom, opportunity, health, wealth, and most importantly freedom. Freedom ain’t free. Unless we are prepared to fight, and 90% of the powerful are ready to go to war for that power-hence the influence of the NRA, we must play within the confines of the system we inherited until we have the wealth and power to change it!

Imma need y’all to know your history.

Black oppression has never ended by violence. It’s never stopped because we protested. It’s never ended because we spoke out. It’s those moves combined with the greatest human tool of settling conflict, that has only ever changed anything… negotiation.

Nelson Mandela was imprisoned by the system that created apartheid. When he was released from prison he negotiated with that very system to end it. The white system of oppression was hurting because internationally they were sanctioned and condemned for their treatment of the black majority. They yielded political power to the Black liberation movements in exchange for economic privilege. Negotiation.

Dapper Dan x Gucci. One is an Italian fashion house, as are Dolce & Gabanna, Prada, etc. These brands have used racist American imagery in their designs, but as international brands they have to be committed to understanding the cultures that buy their clothes. The other is an urban fashion ICON. So after helping put Dapper Dan out of business in the 80s, Gucci used one of his exact designs on their runway. Instead of going to battle with the fashion house, he agreed to work with them after tons of backlash came from the Black and hip hop community. Now something Gucci and other major brands have been pilfering for years, has become something they have to share with its Black originator. That has led to other Black urban designers like Virgil Abloh, learning first hand how to build longevity in luxury fashion… something rare in the Black fashion experience. Negotiation.

Ultimately we want to all be respected. We fight for justice, whether it’s criminal justice or social justice, we want to be regarded as a person and as a people as positively as anyone else for our traditions, values, thoughts, actions, and intentions. We want to receive the same level of high esteem as others are awarded simply because they look a certain way, have a certain ancestry, gender, age, sexual preference. Unfortunately we live in a nation that doesn’t offer respect to those of us who don’t fit the model of privilege.

So, we have to do it a different way.

Money, Power, and Respect

To get to our destination, as Scarface said it best, “First you get the money, then you get the power…”

Wealth, whether we choose to believe it or not, gets you access… and access gets you in front of the people you want to influence to show them exactly how much power your name, reputation, brand yields. There aren’t a limited number of seats… these people control who they let sit in the round. When you have power, especially that can influence their bottom line, seats get pulled up to the table. The opportunities flow at that point. There are unlimited chairs, but limited opportunities.

4. The NFL and Race

The NFL has the most racially mismatched employee to exec ratio in any industry, 70% or so of the players are Black. Less than 15 Black execs and no Black owners.

Don’t attempt to make Jay the scapegoat for the NFL and it’s owners’ bullshit. They run an organization that was built upon racist ideology. Offer the opportunity for young Black men to make millions of dollars, so the owners can make billions, in exchange for their bodies, ignore the wear and tear on their Black bodies (remember 70% of the league is Black), dismiss studies done on how football damages the brain, limit hire and play of Black quarterbacks, fail to hire Black executives, attempt to control Black players by threatening their jobs due to peaceful protests. That’s not new, it’s institutionalized.

As a community we have prepared our sons for careers with this organization that cares nothing about them. We have bought the jerseys, season tickets, NFL pass to watch our community’s children make, if we go based on salary being a function of profit and our position in securing that profit, pennies on the dollar. We have watched them be fined for celebrating, relegated to the positions that leave them the most harmed physically and mentally. We must look at ourselves too. Surely we knew this organization had its share of racial issues prior to Kaepernick’s protests, but for the love of football …

3. Kaepernick & Jay

So Jay-Z did a thing. He made a deal with the NFL. It’s been said he is a sellout, that he basically shit on Colin Kaepernick, that his deal is strictly financial and has no social justice aspect… therefore Jay used Kap in order to create a means by which the NFL would see him as a necessary ally.

But let’s not be so simplistic in our thinking.

In a nutshell, Colin Kaepernick knelt during the anthem to bring awareness to police brutality, specifically murders of young Black men with no repercussions. The NFL and team owners didn’t like the protests, but Kaepernick left the 49ers for better. He didn’t get better. The fallout from the protests resulted in him not being hired. Through arbitration (read:negotiation) he got a settlement for collusion on behalf of the NFL and its owners. We don’t know the terms of that settlement, but I’m willing to bet a job with the NFL wasn’t an option. Colin sacrificed his job for something he believed in.

 “There are a lot of people that don’t want to have this conversation. They are scared they might lose their jobs or they might not get endorsements and they might not be treated the same way. Those are things I’m prepared to handle.” – Colin Kaepernick

America is racist. America in 2016 elected its most racially divisive President in modern history, of whom many NFL executives supported financially and politically. America is controlled by big business. It can’t be any surprise to you that a Black man that they employ, who stands up against their ideology, will not work for them again. When you juxtapose this to the 2014 Hands Up protests by the St. Louis Rams after Michael Browns murder and Marshawn Lynch sitting on the bench during the anthem his entire NFL career, its clear the timing of Kaepernick’s protest as well as its visibility created the adversity with the league.

Jay-Z didn’t have anything to do with that. So stop.

But this is what’s real:

A. Jay is a billionaire, he doesn’t need to make deals that will harm his brand or tarnish his image. He can make deals because he simply believes in them…whether the rest of us do or not.

B. Jay is CLEARLY a proponent of social justice… Roc Nation has backed three documentaries on Khalief Browder, Trayvon Martin, and Robert “Meek Mill” Williams that you have on prison, bond, probation reform and gun reform. He is not Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson loud and rhyming his message to the masses, but he is often in the round. He is a founding member of the Meek Mill inspired Reform Alliance. He has paid the bonds for hundreds of people jailed during the Baltimore protests. One act does not negate that work.

C. About 10-12 million ppl watch the biggest Monday Night Football Games, 98 million watched the 2019 Super Bowl, with over 114 million watching the 2015 Super Bowl. Clearly the Super Bowl is it’s largest attraction each year. There are 327 million people in America, the Super Bowl has viewership that’s 1/3rd of the US population.

You want to influence what brands/companies gain popularity and which one’s that thumb their nose at Black culture do not…you get a piece of those companies you want to promote. The owner of Cristal, a brand shouted out by many rappers, spoke negatively about that affiliation. Jay bought and heavily promoted Armand de Brignac (Ace of Spades) which quickly saw the sales of Cristal decrease. You want to help artists recoup their earnings, lost in the traditional streaming platforms, you buy into and invite them to buy into such a musical platform. Tidal.

Like many of the hustlers on the block, dude is a genius. He understands the financial society we live in… he wrote a whole album about black capitalism. With a signature, dude has just brought the NFL to the table with the culture that many of it’s Black players who were kneeling and who faced repercussions for those actions come from, are bred from, and grew up in.

However, he was NOT obligated financially, morally, socially, or as a man, to get permission from anyone to further his coin and further social justice. He supported Kaepernick and this deal is a manifestation of Kap’s protest.

The Bottom Line

Based on the little that had been divulged about the actual contract, Jay-Z is basically going to control what a very large majority of the viewership tunes in for, at the biggest games the NFL has… the entertainment. I think it’s clear what this is about. He’s not the NFLs pawn… it’s actually quite the opposite. He is a powerful man the NFL realizes that it needs to gain back a part of its base.

“I said no to the Superbowl, you need me, I don’t need you/Every night we in the endzone, tell the NFL we in stadiums too”- Jay-Z from The Carters “Apeshit”

Jay is a icon of hip hop culture, a culture that resides deep within the NFL players cultures, and the customers and fans of the sport. It’s the quintessential money, power, respect move. And recall Roc Nation also is an athletic management company. C’mon people. This is chess not checkers.

I just think we’re often so worried about Black people looking like sellouts, we miss the bigger picture. As a culture, Black people have been enslaved, disenfranchised, lynched, discriminated against, miseducated, imprisoned, and grossly mistreated by American capitalism and the greed it can create. So functioning inside of that system is a source of fear and distrust for many in the Black community. But there is another consideration. 

Nothing… NOTHING… will ever change for a group of people without access, power, and money. Making money is not an almighty sin. Just because it makes money, that doesn’t make it anti-Kap. Just because Kap hasn’t been hired, that doesn’t make this deal anti-Kap. This was never about a job, consider that protesting was about police brutality and not about the anthem or even the NFL. This deal brings what Kap did from the turf to the table. It’s not just about the money, it’s about the motivation.

We’ll never know the full scope of the settlement Kap took. Meanwhile Eric Reid is talking loud yet he gets paid by the NFL, and I bet you won’t see him kneel not another time. We don’t know how much money Jay-Z stands to make, and frankly I don’t think that matters. He used his wealth and power to get access to a league with less than 15 Black executives and no Black owners, and its being said he’ll soon be part owner of a team. Call him what you want. But you gotta shake shit up and agitate the folks at the table to get them to realize that you should always bet on Black! Now…

“Put some respect on my check”

Comedic Pryorities

“I went to Zimbabwe. I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren’t coming after me!“-Richard Pryor

I feel like there is a fundamental difference between the comedy of Black folks and everybody else. We display our shit in our funny. You get to hear about our relationship problems; which one of our friends might be a hater in real life; how broke we are; our 62 year old gay uncle coming out and bringing “Lionel” to the family barbecue in matching short sets; how much toilet paper our kids use; and the amount of gray hairs we counted in the shower. We also talk about politics, racism, and all the horrible shit we experience. The thing about it is, those same jokes we laugh about, we are quick to get sensitive about if they hit home. That joke about cheating ain’t funny to your wife who decided to keep your ass despite you having an outside kid. Shit just ain’t funny. #toosoon

If you know anything about me, you know I LOVE Black people. My love is deep though, so my jokes are deep. I’m not holding you up about how extra fucked up your ways are or out here fooling myself about my own flaws. Our standards are different. Our priorities are different. We need to be honest with each other… but we can do it with laughs and love.


When I post the Black Men are the White Men of Black People article again, of course it isn’t all of you. But if you are hotepping , rape apologizing, comparing Black male v female racial injustice, and R. Kelly and Bill Cosby “our Black heroes” stanning… I’m gonna clown you and label you. I’m gonna let you know you are acting real male supremacist and since you experience your race and gender simultaneously, you can’t live by the same rules and get the same privilege. That shit ain’t available to you. I feel it my job to let you know how far from the right path you have strayed. Now I’m gonna wrap it in a funny bow… but again, it’s gonna be a bow soaked in truth and potlicker because we all we got. These thick thighs save lives in more ways than one!

When I say Light Skin Ni$$a Shit, trust me I mean that with all the love I can muster. I’m light skinned. I dance randomly in stores. I likely have on something leopard print. I’m a little extra and a little sensitive about my shit. I’ve been judged. I have a privilege I didn’t ask for and don’t want. I have simultaneously had my Blackness questioned … while still being quite Black enough to face racism from white folks. Living in that space can result in attention seeking behaviors to stand out and distance yourself from that privilege, sometimes displaying stereotypical behaviors or making up a reality just to lessen that sting. The fact still is that unless he’s in a Regal blasting UGK, El DeBarge is less likely to get stopped by the police than Johnny Gill. Traveling at 40mph it’s harder to tell if El is their intended target, a Black person. But he is not immune. It’s a strange and debilitating privilege that doesn’t feel like privilege at all. A privilege you only get because you are close to whiteness, but no cigar… and you don’t smoke! I’ll take the smoke tho and call it out when we display it erratically … with humor. You ain’t gotta prove you down or lie Craig.

I’ll do the same thing when we try to box each other in, as if we can’t be both smart with a side of ratchet; study James Baldwin and W.E.B. DuBois and twerk in trap fitness; or be fiscally responsible and still buy Jordans. I got Twitter and E-Trade apps on my phone. I am multi-dimensional. I’m soul food and eye candy you hotep. And I’m gonna joke about it, but that’s my way of sparking some dialogue… because you need to know that I am not the bearer of your insecurity. Regardless of how you may decide to narrowly view yourself and your Blackness, the rest of us are out here contributing to our 401K AND busting a mf move when Cash Money takes over for the 99 and 2000s.

“There’s a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at.” -Richard Pryor

What I need for us NOT to do is get all sensitive because the jokes hit home. If the shoe fits and it’s in your closet, you bought it. Be accountable for who and what you are, and if someone strikes a nerve with the truth, decide to do better. #WWJD… #JWDB (Jesus would do better!)

Besides, comedy is truth. It was our comedic national treasure , Richard Pryor, who said… “I went to the White House, met the president. We in trouble. 

We still are Richard, we still are!

It Ain’t About HER it’s about US

I want to shake some of y’all until you get brain damage, because at least then there will be an excuse for you being so DAMN ridiculous. You have a conspiracy theory about everything… but when it comes to negative shit about Black women, you will ride that shit ’til the wheels fall off. It doesn’t have to be even mildly rooted in fact, because we are the poster children of oppression. We are sitting at the intersection of race, sex, and class and we never get the right of way.

In America, what is White, what is male, and what is wealthy is given absolute power. In order to maintain this power, wealthy White America has set up these systems that keep anyone different from them at a disadvantage and they are able to get others (non wealthy Whites) to buy into it by convincing them to fear and ultimately hate those differences. Black men are the tools they use to effectuate these systems, by weakening them financially and socially, imprisoning them and miseducating them. Black women threaten their power and the objects of their protection, White women, because we make their dicks hard. By robbing us of our protectors, our men, we are left to fight alone.

And fight we have! In the past 100 years, no group has improved its standing financially, socially, and educationally more than Black women. Black woman owned businesses have increased over 200%; we are earning graduate degrees at two times the rate of others; and although we still only make 60 cent to the dollar of White men, we continue to increase our numbers in politics, higher education positions, and management positions- especially in companies that value diversity and innovation.

But as we have climbed, we simply do not gather the support of our own and don’t receive as much support as Black men, who we often lead the army in protecting. It’s a very perplexing fact. The numbers of Black men and Black women supporting R. Kelly and Bill Cosby was expected, and sadly not alarming, even after hearing of the numerous Black girl children Kelly had violated. When Black women are violated, it’s barely reported and barely shared. Over the past year hundreds of young Black girls have gone missing in major US cities, most of us can’t name one. Yet we still see the graphics of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Oscar Grant and the many other young Black men killed by police officers on their birthdays and the anniversaries of their death years later. All these children, male and female, deserve to have us #saytheirname. But sadly, Black female victims rarely get that same support.

Enter Kamala Harris.

On January 21, 2019, Senator Kamala Harris announced her 2020 Presidential bid. The American machine churned quickly and turned out a myriad of articles misquoting facts and painting her as inadequate for the position. She was blamed and labeled non-progressive based on prior positions as District Attorney of San Francisco (where the prison population decreased by 2011) and Attorney General of California, and the increase in the prison population in that State during her tenure.

The Two Faces of Kamala Harris – Jacobinmag.com

Kamal Harris law-and-order past threatens progressive 2020 bid – The Washington Post

Kamala Harris Hopes You’ll Forget Her Record as a Drug Warrior and Draconian Prosecutor -Reason.com

Extramarital affair with Kamala Harris? Former San Francisco mayor, 84, admits it happened -FoxNews

Kamala Harris: Criminal justice reformer, or defender of the status quo? The record is mixedPolitifact

Kamala Harris has been Tough in Black People-Not in Crime – Afropunk.com

It was to be expected, Malcolm X told us! But sadly, we are victims of our own ignorance. The Miseducation of the Negro is real and we still allow it. So shortly thereafter, Black media sites started to regurgitate these articles, when it was clear their authors skipped American Government 101 and don’t even know what District Attorneys and Attorney Generals do. One of the most heinous was the Afropunk article written by a Black man, which stated, “It is clear that Kamala Harris is not for the people. She is for the American empire. Don’t let her identity as a Black woman, or her identity as an AKA, or her status as an alumna from Howard University fool you into thinking she is actually for us: Kamala don’t give a fuck about you niggas.

It was an article full of generalizations that failed to look deeper into her role as DA and AG, the responsibilities of those roles, the system she inherited, her actual numbers, and the circumstances surrounding the increase in violent crimes and the rate of recidivism in California. It also generalized her stance on certain issues without an analysis into why she took those positions. Her record is not without contradiction and questionable decisions, but to imply she doesn’t care about Black people is asinine and without merit… and this from a Black man. As Natalie Hopkinson, a professor at Howard University stated, “A lot of black men are just not hearing what black women are saying because they are too busy complaining about their own situation.” We are not your enemy bruh!

As a black woman, the decision to love yourself just as you are is a radical act -Bethanee Bryant

The reason why some Black women have given Harris their vote until she does something to lose it, is because she stands at a disadvantage NO ONE but us will ever understand. She has her loyalty to Black men questioned. She has her Blackness questioned. She has her affiliations with anything historically and authentically Black questioned. She has her sexual and relationship choices questioned. She has her heritage questioned. Only because she is an attractive light skinned woman has she yet to have her looks questioned, and we understand that shit better than anyone. So we choose to stand by her, because standing by her is standing by ourselves. And this time, no matter how much major media attempts to lessen her and Black men attempt to silence her, Black women will support her, even if she doesn’t get our vote. We are never allowed to make mistakes, make wrong choices, or choose ourselves without being labeled traitors to the culture. We birth the culture, hold it in our womb, so miss us with all that!

We are living our best lives, and we give a fuck about y’all, but we ain’t going back and forth with you niggas!

Black Mixed with Black

“I’m light skinned, but I’m still a dark n!%%#…” Drake

I love this line, cuz people have assumed my whole life that I got it easy cuz I could check several boxes on the race question and no one would question it… but the only thing I claim is the only thing I am… Black.

I got two Black ass Afro wearing Black power fist raising parents. My mama dropped me off at high school bumping Ice Cube… my mama. We had Black ass records in the house… Miles Davis, Coltrane, Aretha, the Isleys, and brown Michael Jackson, and Prince before the Just for Me relaxer. We had Black ass food… franks and beans, tuna and peas, hot water cornbread and fried chicken, black eyed peas and greens, cabbage and corned beef, and that big ass yellow block of cheese on occasion. We had Black ass books… My mama had Soul on Ice on the bookshelf and my granddad had The Miseducation of the Negro, the two I remembered most, among the other Baldwin, Lorde, Giovanni, and Black Panther penned books. We went to Black ass places, Eastland, the African World Fest at Hart Plaza, and Shrine of the Black Madonna. I know nothing else, but who and what I am. My folks were educated and had good jobs and demanded I be well educated; that’s not unique to White people. We once had wealth in our communities. During segregation we were forced to do business with one another and create our own communities of necessity. We have been going to college, been doctors and lawyers. We have been marrying across the spectrum… Loving v. Virginia in 1967 was almost 100 years after Kinney v. Virginia in 1878 which held their interracial marriage in Washington, where it was legal in 1874, as a violation of Virginia law. So all of this “ain’t Black enough” shit is garbage.

Somewhere between the Middle Passage and Emancipation, we lost who we were. Although we had escaped slavery, because we weren’t just freed it was definitely a freedom mission, we were still mentally enslaved. Black people were never afforded these unalienable rights and liberties; “we the people” didn’t include us. We have been forever entangled in a web of racism so tough that the simple ratification of an amendment could put us right back into chattels. We were robbed of our history, not allowed to read or write, so we only knew we were slaves. We were were actually descendants of royalty. Our ancestors created mathematics, language, and science. Egyptians from gold to blackened brass hues, taught the masters of philosophy and deeper thought, ideology, math, science, and sociology. It’s hard to love yourself when you have only been told you were valueless, so in the nature of humans who despise themselves, we turned on each other. But regardless of where we toil, we are still Black. I’m still a Slave in the house… with no rights, no control, and easier access by the massa to the bloom under my bloomers. “House nigga, field nigga…still nigga.” And yet, after educating ourselves to the highest degree, we still are mentally enslaved. Now that we know who we really are, instead of fighting against one another, we need to rise up against theses racists who impregnated our minds with self-hate and colorism… and take our power back. We need to stop this Black enough rating system that we base on shit that doesn’t matter… I’m Black enough if I’m Black, I support Black people, I’m proud of my Blackness, and I identify. Period.

I’m Black mixed with Black and I’ve had my loyalty to the cause questioned because of traits I had nothing to do with. I can’t help a privilege, but I can surely acknowledge it and let you know that I’m uninterested. I can earn everything I get. If you are going to give me anything, let it be because I have done something to earn it outright. I am uninterested in your bias against folks that look like my Father, my Grandfather, my beautiful Aunts and cousins who just happen to be on the deeper end of the complexion spectrum because we span from milk to coffee and every latte and macchiato in between. But if I’m given anything because of my genetics, trust that I’m sharing it across complexion lines, and using it to put myself in a position where I can combat the very thing that got me in the position.

I got Black ass art on the walls. Black ass books in my library. Black ass records and songs in my Tidal playlists, cuz I support Black folks with Jackson Five nostrils who marry beautiful Black Queens and have kinky haired babies who go out with their fro out. I quote Amanda Seales, Issa Rae, Killer Mike, and Soulja Boy cuz they by culture and for the culture. I’m bad and I’m bougie. I like beauty supply earrings and authentic Gucci bags. I only shop at markets but I listen to trap music on the way. I’m looking for a trap Pilates or trap boxing class if you hear of any… and I like my men educated, Black, hairy, with a grey jogging pants and Timbs section in their closet next to the suits, and non-hotepian. I have a Black man and a Black son, who I support and love without fail or question. I’m smart, educated, dope af, and Black as hell!

So judge me and everyone else who is Black with that in mind. You don’t know my story, his, or hers. If I told you:

-I almost died because being Black and female and pregnant isn’t taken as seriously because we had babies in fields and huts and shucked corn through labor. I was Black enough to be ignored.

-I have been discriminated against because I’m Black, female, a Black female, and an educated Black female. I was Black enough to the racists.

-I carried a Black male baby while carrying a Black man, and my back still hurts from it. I was Black enough to support Black men inside and outside.

-I have been cheated on, lied to and lied on, wrongfully accused, stolen from, harassed, threatened, and assaulted by Black folks. I was Black enough to be mistreated by my own.

-I have dressed in all Black to handle the enemy.I have dressed in all Black to protest the enemy.

-I buy Black with intention.

-I speak up for Black people and Black women in ways I don’t broadcast, beyond my Facebook rants, that have harmed me personally but I still carry on because it’s necessary.

… would you discredit me because I don’t look like what you think that woman looks like? Trust me, I know where my own loyalty lies, and if you let other people and your assumptions tell you who I am, I guarantee you’d be wrong. This is just my story, but we all have one. And all of us, whether we acknowledge it or not, have been Black enough at some point to feel the pride of being Black and experience the pain of being Black.

This Black ratings scale, are you Black enough trash is hotep shit at its worst. Black attempts at supremacy is rancid poison, and a by product of White male supremacy that some Black folks have accepted to feel superior in a world where we lack power. Hoteps, both male and female, have latched on to supporting Black folks who belong under the jail, then criticize anyone who isn’t in blind support of every wrong Negro man, especially those who wrong Black women. I proudly despise any attempt to lessen who Black women are in the name of patriarchy, of any race of men, Black men in particular. All that hotep shit will get you cussed out and deuced really quick. Thou shalt not pull your dick out, be a Nazi, or be a hotep. Those three things apply to hotep high priestesses as well… no amount of sage, crystals, and head wraps will save you from being called out. The rest of us are tired of you and want to call the delegation to order every time you rear your ugly head to oust you from the kingdom. Just call me Jon Snow… I cut folks off at the neck clean. Besides, Winter is coming (well this week it arrived) my tan has worn off, I’m back to my original color, and I gotta fight off the Night walkers and shit who dare challenge me my Blackness. I ain’t a killer but…

-Signed, everyone Black person ever labeled, questioned, or assumed to be low to non-existent on the “Black enough” scale.

Who will Cry for the Little (Black) Girls

I wasn’t going to write anything about #SurvivingRKelly, but I changed my mind… sorta. I write this with hesitation.

The Black community’s continued support of this known monster is a no different from the way we blame girls and women for being victims, protect family members who display these same vile behaviors, and generally just stand in blind support of certain individuals in our community whether they deserve it or not. In summary, we have to find a cure for the communal disease of Sweeping Shit Under the Rug (SSUR). It has infected Black families since Jamestown, and continues to be one of the paramount reasons we protect abusers and leave the abused in a heap of pain and agony on the proverbial floor.

Much of the commentary I see, that isn’t strongly against all he stands for, either lessens his responsibility, disbelieves these Black women, or diminishes his behavior in an attempt to justify people’s continued support of this monster. It’s both disappointing and scary.

According to the Women of Color Abuse Network, over 60% of Black girls are sexually assaulted/abused prior to age 18. Numbers are lacking on the percentage of Black boys who face these atrocities, but based on the testimonies of Terry Crews, Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, ASAP Rocky, Tyler Perry, Kelly himself, and a host of other Black men, it is a common occurrence that needs more light shed upon it. Abusers who target children, typically target those in their circle. But this man set up a very intricate system of support to play out these atrocities on Black girl children. Without negating the very real trauma he obviously experienced as a young boy, we can still hold him responsible for his disgusting and vile behavior. The point at which you are putting a barrier of support around you to abuse and manipulate with ease, you are clearly aware that your behavior is wrong, criminal, and inhumane.

Let us not forget: this man taped himself in his own home urinating on and engaging in sex acts with a 14 year child. There is no excuse under the Heavens that will suffice. Not one.

Yet I know much of the support for him rests upon the fact that the majority of his victims were Black girls. Black girls and women are not deemed as believable. In our own community we are

1) seen as “fast” if we attract male attention or are naturally developed at a young age,

2)disliked and distrusted by each other, and

3) not the source but definitely the heir to the dominant role in both familial and professional areas by societal weakening/imprisonment of the Black male, which makes us enemy to many Black men.

We are still seen primarily as sexual objects both inter- and intra- race, and our intersectionality makes us susceptible to both the negative sexual connotations of race (Black people as sexually irresponsible and deviant) and sex (women as sexually manipulative). Therefore Black women tend to distrust other Black women, because of some real or imagined competition for the admiration and attention of men. Paired with the belief that Black men are sexually deviant, their husbands, boyfriends, fathers, brothers, and sons are deemed easily manipulated by other Black women. Similarly, Black Men tend to disbelieve Black women because of the patriarchal idea that we have taken their spot as leader. Many want to knock us down a peg or two, and use sex to do that… while simultaneously being sexually attracted to us and interpreting that as us manipulating and subjugating them sexually. So it’s par for the course for the community to assume young Black girls wanted it, knew what they were doing, and set out to accomplish their professional goals via sex.

Outside of our community, no one believes us because we are invisible to them… we aren’t male and we aren’t White, so we are valueless in their eyes. You can’t even hear the words of someone whose life doesn’t have value to you.

Every adult who knew about this belongs in jail. Every adult he showed those videos to, who watched and did nothing, are guilty. Every staff member in his homes and studio who allowed this. The tour manager that knew he was having sex with his 15 year old protege, he is guilty. The parents who allowed their underage children to be alone with him even after all of these allegations, tapes, and trials, they too are guilty.

They are just as guilty as the family who refuses to address Uncle Jerome who asked the 8 year old to sit on his lap so she could feel his hard on. Just as guilty as the mom who gets angry at her teenage daughter because her new boyfriend expresses more interest in her daughter than her. The effects of SSUR are widespread. Rooted in the tradition of protecting our own from the rest of society, but missing the very important understanding that those protections should only be given to those of us who uphold humanity while being caught in the crossfire of racism, prejudice, sexism, and subjugation. But criminal sexual behavior against minors… he should be swept under the jail.

Bottom line:

We must stop protecting these monsters, no matter who they are. Male or female. Family or not. Rich or poor. Brother, sister, cousin, neighbor, pastor, mother, father, teacher, and even wealthy men using their wealth as power as a tool of manipulation. But this story is sick and perverted on levels I can’t fully explain in words and can’t fully wrap my head around. He woos young girls and immediately institutes his system of sexual and physical control over them. He preys on their underdeveloped emotions. He starts a cycle of abuse that they ultimately believe they deserve or is indicative of love from this man. He uses his story of abuse to bring the young girls who have suffered abuse closer to him. He then records their encounters both visually and in written form in the form of song. It now makes sense why so much of his music, especially after the trial was fraught with stories of sex that seemed degrading and debased. But it makes sense now… these were his sexual memoirs. Sex in the kitchen by the buttered rolls on her tippy toes… what a sick bastard. Yep, those are real lyrics to a real song.

Fuck R. Kelly. He needs to be separated from humanity, and then he needs intense therapy. But fuck him for ruining the lives of so many of our young girls.

You can cry a river
‘Till an ocean starts to form
But she will always remember…” Robert Kelly

Yes she will…

Open Letter to Emotionally/Socially/Professionally Abusive Black Women

Being black, female and intelligent is to be constantly questioned by folks afraid you might outshine them. Being Black and female in the workplace is to be the vessel into which to heap everyone else’s frustration, lack, weakness, and failures in the form of discrimination, abuse, harassment, and stereotyping. In too many professional spaces, the top rungs are filled with individuals seated at the right hand of Satan. Rooted only in the promise of money and power, not the cultivation of innovation or the development of human talent. God often puts demons in your path so you know what they look like, smell like, how they breathe, and how to spot their venom. When the most objectified and mistreated person in the world trades their blackness and womanhood for red horns and a pitchfork… it does so without any transference of power. She is a powerless demon.

I am far from a perfect person. However there are some things that I do exceptionally well… gift giving, taking care of and tending to people I care about, writing, accessorizing, handling my business, organizing, keeping a neat and clean home, doing my job, and I can cut a mean rug every now and then. Of the things I do not do well, top of that list are allow you to mistreat me and watching you mistreat others. There is no excuse for either. I don’t bother anyone, ever… I make sure of it. Besides professing my love of Michael B. Jordan, Michael Jackson, and candy corn… I try hard not to bother anyone. Because I don’t care to be bothered by anyone, ever.

So when someone has specifically targeted me as their whipping post to bear the pain of their own self-hatred and misery, I have to draw a line in the sand. I am not your mirror image. I am not your peer. I am not your competition. I come from a long line of Black, proud, educated, articulate, and cultured ancestry. My folks were in college when few of us were there. My folks had titles when you were but a spermatozoa and ovum waiting to meet. My folks came out of slavery and demanded excellence of their free progeny. I come from excellence, and excellent I am. My folks begat me… and I’m real beasty out here in the world. I don’t boast or talk about my accomplishments, because I serve others with this magna cum laude and dean’s list big gargantuan brain as humbly as I possibly can. But make no mistakes, I am beasty out here. Real beasty. And I keep excellent receipts.

But back to my point, we have nothing in common, nothing. I wear my womanhood proudly, speaking out against patriarchy and sexism every chance I get. I wear this Blackness as a robe of honor , and I won’t rest until I see some glimmers of real freedom and I resist against even my own people subjugating us to the levels of “baboons and monkeys” and “being so black that…” jokes. Maybe your blackness is a joke, but mine is a privilege. Your Blackness and womanhood you use as a weapon, to mask your attempts at stereotyping the rest of us who don’t bow down to your feet. I’ll never bow down to Satan’s minion!

It is typical that the most evil apparition will feign godliness. But ain’t no God in you!

God is love, not putrid vials of insecurity and thinly veiled attempts to destroy those you cannot consume. God is pure, not a wasteland of grandiose boasting surrounded by mounds of yesteryears garbage. God is all knowing, not ignorant tongue wagging and lessons in sabotage and deceit to your class of dunces.

In closing… while I have prayed for you to heal and do your work, I realize now my prayers were wasted on the faithless. Only a woman who has no constitution would ever show more loyalty to her abusers than the abused. I operate by the law of love, which understands that compassion, understanding, active acceptance, and consistency are the only real statutory provisions of humanity. My humanity is intact, so I sit in my seat by choice, God has shown me other options. You sit in your seat because you are stuck between the armrests, and no one will help pull you out. You will rot there. I will thrive no matter where I sit…

“until you do right by me, everything you even think about is gonna fail”..

Signed, a Black Woman


So my mind was blown…

I read this post I saw on FB, and I had to copy it and share it, because until the moment I read it, I didn’t think about it in the same way…

So, let me expound and give you some food for thought.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know men are sexually violated (read: raped [cuz what we not gon do is sugar coat, ever]), because believe me I did. It was that I had never compounded the MULTITUDE of stories I had heard from boyfriends, husband, and male friends who had admitted that their first sexual experience was typically below age 16, and the women were usually considerably older. The babysitter, the cousin’s friend, the sister’s friend, Auntie Peaches who did their mom’s hair, or Cousin Kiki, who wasn’t really their cousin… just HAR-lots (pronounced HAR-lots, just like it looks) who thought giving a young boy a piece of that dilapidated trim was cute and a good idea because…

Ain’t shit cute about raping kids. Period! Nasty cows. When I think about it, all I can envision is that unfortunate woman in Antwone Fisher…

Anyhow… after it dawned on me how valid this image was… I had a thought.

We socialize boys so much different than we do girls, especially sexually and especially in the Black community. Boys from a very young age have uncles and cousins, hell fathers, who teach them that the higher their body count, the more of a man they are. They watch their male relatives and friends of the family interact inappropriately with young girls… they are encouraged to dispose of their virginity like it’s a disease. While girls are taught to keep the nickel between their knees and not to open their legs until marriage. But who do they think these boys are going to be sexing?

The truth is that, we set boys up for failure by negating the worth of their bodies. Girls bodies are held up as prizes, prizes of prey by many men and prizes of pulchritude in general. While that has its own set of issues, the failure to even give worthiness to boys bodies sets them up to give them away like hand me downs. When we add to that, being violated by older women, we set in motion a series of events that lead many of them down a road of toxic masculinity, misogyny, and promiscuity that is hard for them to break.

When you steal a child’s innocence, you also put cracks in their spirit. Any young boy whose body is used as entertainment is likely to harbor some hatred for his abuser. That abuse gets passed off, from all the messaging coming at him, as acceptable. While the abuser becomes the poster child for everyone she looks like, willing to prostitute herself for the novelty of being some little boys first… better known as worthlessness! So girls and women become devoid of worth in his mind. Women exist for sex … that is how he’s been conditioned.

The truth of the matter is that… we have to, we must…call out this dysfunction for the culture. If we want men to celebrate Black women and Black women to honor Black men, we have to start teaching our children that they are ALL prizes to be treated with respect and dignity, and boys bodies are just as revered and special as girls bodies. Each one a treasure!

Otherwise, we will continue to raise young men who don’t value themselves and therefore cannot and do not value anyone else. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

Speaking of which… I just came across this quote by rapper ASAP Rocky in the latest Esquire magazine…

“My first orgy was when I was in seventh grade. Thirteen years oldThe first time was in this apartment building. We took the elevator to the roof, and everybody put their coats on the ground. There were like five girls and ten guys, and we all just took turns.” -ASAP Rocky in Esquire

WITEF?!?!? Thirteen year old boys should not be having orgies… We have gots to do better my people! #himtoo #metoo #wetoo

Sexual abuse and sexual trauma sets the course for victims to become abusers. The sex talk with boys has to be more than use a condom. We need to be instilling the same values about the worth and importance of his temple to him as we do to her. Anything else is irresponsible, and setting our boys up for failure and a mighty disastrous fall!

Antwone Fisher: “I’m still standing! I’m still strong! And I always will be!”

The Souls of Black Folks

If you rock with William or Robert because of Harvey and Donald … this is for you!

My Grandmother used to drive me insane with this idea that as Black people, many of us could not excel because we were not pleasing to White folks. She was a financial whiz, but a sociopolitical scholar she was not.

My Grandfather, on the other hand, was like the Dick Gregory of the house. He understood that Black culture and traditions were different but not less than those of other, particularly the dominant, cultures. Our secret to success was to find our own personal freedom from the bonds of racism and to embrace our otherness, because through true diversity and inclusion America would be better for our innovation, creativity, and ancestral traditions.

Seeking to be judged by the standards of elitist White supremacy will always find us defeated. All of us! It’s a toxic and hostile way to view the world!

Wanting Bill Cosby or any Black man, Black woman, or person of color to be judged by the same elitist White supremacist, toxic male patriarchal, and racist standards as those white male rapists who get off is counter intuitive and dangerous. It is most likely that your Black child, Black relative, or Black friend will be victimized by a Black person. So this messaging that a Black male rapist should get off because White men do… will only serve to keep your kids, wife, sisters, mother, friends, cousins SILENT! They most likely are coming into contact with more threatening Black men than White men because of proximity. That’s just a fact! (Cuz you probably talk about Black on Black crime too…)

But this idea that we should insulate vile Black men because the supremacist White system insulates vile White men… and even some non-supremacists who don’t know any better… goes against the fight for freedom we have marched, protested, and DIED for! Freedom from systematic racism is not just about lynching, lunch counters, and school integration. The Civil Rights movement was also about the systems of hate that permeate our lives, and become apart of our rubic when we are forced into subjugation by these White supremacist ideals. Stand up against patriarchy, supremacy, and racism. Stand up against ignorance. The movement cared about The Souls of Black Folks as much as our financial, educational, housing, and social equity.

Speak through your soul, not through your anger and bitterness about how far we still have to go based on equality. We need to care more about equity than equality, our souls more than our pockets, and embrace our own difference. Our standard should not be Harvey or Donald, but Malcolm, Martin, Marcus, and W.E.B.!

Check yourself!

It was all good until…

We were in full “All Hail the Queen:The Blackety Blackness” realness.

Fantasia kicked off her shoes before she even started, in her best funeral fashion. Mother Board Brooch and all!

Bill Clinton professed his love for ReRe and was happy with himself when he played “Think” on his iPhone from the Apple Music Aretha Essentials playlist.

The Clark Sisters, Isaiah Thomas, and city council members paid homage to Detroit’s homegrown treasure, and her love of the city and its culture! And The Clark Sisters SANG… of course!

Run Jesse Run, Rev Al, TD Jakes, and Rev Barber preached about her goodness, civil rights roots, and gospel roots. While Tyler Perry brought Madea, to the chagrin of most Black folks in America, and Michael Eric Dyson gave us a vocabulary lesson in exalting a Queen and damning the” orange apparition, the lugubrious leach, the doppelgänger of deceipt and deviance, the dim witted dictator, the foolish fascist” who would dare sully her name as his employee! I won’t lie, I stood up and gave applause. That brother can string SAT words like my mama can string curse words together!

Rev Shirley Ceasar, Yolanda Adams, JHud, and … oh and uh I already told y’all about Cousin Tasia… they sang with the organs and tambourines for God’s blessing upon us in the form of a woman with her pocketbook and floor length mink singing her own and everybody else’s song better than anyone else could. And Chaka… we love you doll, but you had one of the easiest songs lyrically to sing, and you still needed the words taped to your fan?!? We could see them… that’s all.

Then Mother Cicely did a monologue in her vainglorious hat and even more impressive 91 year old regalness. She is black pride and black history and black girl magic in one little melanated soul! We are not worthy! 🙌🏽🙌🏽

It was a celebration…

then Jasper got his ass up and spazzed out. Rev. Jasper Williams of Salem Bible Church in Atlanta Georgia was hand picked by Aretha to eulogize her… or so we were told. His father was a longtime friend of her father Reverend C.L. Franklin. I personally think he was sent to infiltrate by the KKK. Cuz that display of misogyny, disrespect, and falsity about the impact and importance of race in our culture sounded like it belonged at Trump Rally. Up until that point we all wanted to hand Rick Snyder a glass of Flint water and secretly hoped the pulpit would open and swallow him whole, but this dude…he was baptized in the Flint River and swallowed, ya heard.

Jasper Sir, let’s take a look at your foolishness:

1. “as proud, beautiful and fine as our black women are, one thing a black woman cannot do, a black woman cannot raise a black boy to be a man.”

Aretha Franklin was the single mother of four. She had her first child at 12 and second at 14. Her male children, grown men with beautiful and successful families, were sitting in the front pews. I believe they, and all the stellar Black men who were raised by single mothers, would disagree with you. True, the ideal situation is a two parent home. But this is the real world and idealism has no place. If you want to preach about the Black home, solutions are what is needed. We have heard enough empty criticism.

When young Black girls become pregnant, often their parents or grandparents step in to assist. Grown women who have children in or outside of married with grown men should never be parenting singularly, but they often do, well and with love. To disrespect that reality is not of God. Some of our most revered Black men were products of single parent homes run by women. Jackie Robison, August Wilson, Sean Combs, Shawn Carter, LeBron James, Louis Armstrong, Barack Obama, and the man who singlehandedly brought love back to Queen ReRe’s funeral after your mess, Stevie Wonder… all men raised by single women. Your premise is a fallacy! Single parenting mothers seek multiple resources for both their boys and girls to have positive male presence. But they are not incapable of parenting either girls or boys.

Who raised you? There was clearly a deficit…

2. “No, black lives do not matter. Black lives will not matter, black lives ought not matter, black lives should not matter, black lives must not matter until black people start respecting black lives and stop killing ourselves.”

This “black on black crime” diatribe is tired, old, and not at all rooted in fact. Black life matters independently of its senseless taking, whether at the hands of those who look like us or otherwise. Both are rooted, frankly, in the same Jim Crow, segregation, slavery, and racist roots you want us to push aside. That’s our foundation in this country… it’s reality and our comeuppance is the thread that holds together our quilt of many colors.

So, to lessen the impact of “blacklivesmatter” the movement and more importantly it’s message, is the very self hate that causes another Black person to stare into the eyes of another and shoot. Your self hate is just as murderous and disastrous as a bullet. Your shot kills the spirit, or as you say, the soul, that place in man where God resides… For we are Godless if we believe that our very life is empty and without value, for it is God’s greatest gift to us. Miss me with that bullshit Preacher Man.

3. “I’m not saying that DR C.L. Franklin exercised the best parenting skills…because he certainly did not… no way in the world he could adequately raise four children. Something in the home was missing… there was a deficit… we can tell there was a deficit by the way the Queen sang.”

You were there to eulogize Aretha Louise Franklin, not her father. A eulogy, according to the dictionary is “a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, typically someone who has just died.” There was no praise in your preach. Instead there was condemnation and judgement. To speak negatively about the deceased father of the deceased, a fixture of the Detroit church community, was unnecessary. Sounded like you were preaching to prove a personal point.

Any man who steps up to raise his children when the mother leaves the home, regardless of the time he spends working, the failure of his marriage, his reported wild manner, whatever, is still a father. The very single mothers you speak of are typically made into single mothers by the absence of the father. One who supported his children, even though they sang secular music despite their gospel routes, and in turn raised a woman who was loyal, dedicated, respectful of her gifts and talents, and giving to her people, is a present and accounted for father. A perfect man, he was not, but it wasn’t your place to discuss that at his daughter’s funeral. To use this woman’s funeral to sell your fire and brimstone gospel to the national community is a travesty.

4. “Anytime we stray from God’s design of the home, havoc results”

Anytime we stray from leading with love havoc results… this eulogy was a case study! You used this idea to spit misogyny from your lips… cuz sexism is void of love. Women are fine and beautiful but incapable of existing with purpose without a man? FOH Guy!

5. “Sometimes I think we require and want too much”

Says the dude with a congregation of over 10,000 in a church that looks like the campus of WCCC. I’m sure he has an airplane, a tour bus, a custom S Class, and a mansion in Lithonia. That’s all cool, but don’t question the needs of the needy.

6. “Struggling Single Black Mother’s need a man in the house, …and we can turn the Black community around.”

What in the toxic masculinity is this shit, Jasper sir? First, let me inform you, a single woman parenting is not the same as a single parenting woman. Be clear. I am single, as I am not yet remarried, but I am not parenting alone. The address of the parents is not as important, by far, as the involvement of the parents. Many of us had two parent households, but married mothers or fathers single parenting because of the emotional unavailability of the other, folks having whole other families on the other side of town, trading working hours for living hours, etc. Many of us had mothers or fathers parenting singularly who raised stellar children.

But to imply that a woman is struggling because there is no man in her life is that bullshit. It leads to women feeling incomplete without a man. It leads to married women believing their status as married somehow puts them on a higher plane. It leads to women in abusive and toxic relationships staying out of fear of being alone and “struggling”… struggling financially, spiritually, and just as “a poor old manless woman.” Sounds like you need some Flint water to wash down that toxicity.

7. “Master Sir…”

In one breath you used this moniker for God, in the next, for the slave owner. That is the most blasphemous garbage I’ve ever heard. The only Master, Sir, is God. Slave owners were pawns of the devil.

And you , Jasper Sir, are a clown.

But because I have a soul, “I’ll say a little prayer for you!”