Check Your Energy… all 2021

Yooooooooooooooooooo…. 2020 is over! It was a fucked up set of months. Everybody got sick in January, probably pre-pandemic COVID cuz hindsight is always… ok bad cliché . Anyway….My kid came home from school in February. I came home in March. My boonapolis (Greek for bestie) caught COVID and was sick for what seemed like an eternity to me in April, and lots of people tested my gangster by assuming they are far more important to the journey than the station they occupy along the route. You can’t sit with us… Sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyway, from May to September, the time I’d usually be running around the city like the streets is mine, I was at home, slightly depressed and deeply anxious. In October, COVID numbers flew up as folks started going back out into the world and kissing in the mouth. I spent my November birthday doing nothing, my Thanksgiving with just the family in my home, and December just prepping for more of the same! Who sanctioned this madness?

We wore masks all year. We couldn’t go to concerts or restaurants. I ordered more shit online than should be legal. I also helped fund someone at Door Dash’s kid through medical school. We wanted a cure or vaccine, now we have one that most of us won’t be able to get for months. We hoarded toilet paper and Lysol but most if us don’t have Reckitt Benckiser (look it up) in our investment portfolio or realize those stockpiles of AngelSoft and Quilted Northern had just made the Koch Brothers richer.

So now that we are past it, and have just 19 days before we usher in a new regime into America… a little reflection is necessary to assess where we are so we can figure out what we need to do. I know I need to do a lot of burpees cuz COVID calories are a real thing.

We’ve been living under a cloud of hate, anger, death, insecurity, fear, and frustration for not just the last year, but the last four. Its time… yep yep… time to make a change! We ALL need an energy shift. The thing about energy is that it is the building block of all things… life and living. Learning how it functions is the greatest life lesson there is. It’s the beat over which all dope tracks are laud. You just gotta learn how to finesse that shit…

Healing was the word for 2020. Energy is the word for 2021. To summon great vibes, you guessed it, you have to emit that same energy. It truly is that simple. For every action there is an opposite but equal reaction… you will learn that lesson over and over until you grasp it. What you see happen in your life is a direct reflection of what type of energy you have put out. It’s truly a game changer. Mirror what you want… equal but opposite… if you want to receive it in your left hand, give with your right. You no longer have to worry about who is doing what to you, what someone else thinks of you or has intended for you… just be a giver of the type of energy you wish to receive. Thass it. Thass all. Let’s process.

Insecurity ran rampant in 2020. Isolation, loneliness, uncertainty, lack of motivation, and lack of progress can do that to you. So many of us were overtly seeking validation outside of ourselves, and in the middle of a global pandemic and economic disaster, there were few people with enough mental energy to give that out beyond their immediate circle. So you could literally read the insecurity pouring out of people. And as much as others may have wanted to reassure and support, folks only have so much to give before their cup runneth empty. So now it’s time to make shift. We must all take some time to give to ourselves… take inventory of what you are doing and how awesome it is, spend time figuring out who you are and what you want, and self-validate. When you know how awesome you are, others will know it too, through osmosis… a transference of energy. You will attract all the bosses and the boos. Vibes.

Similarly, if you are holding on to fear and anger from past grudges, let that go. Trust the vibes. People who mean you harm will give off negative energy that leaves the room feeling moist, like it’s a breeding ground for nastiness. They will have an unfiltered and dusty ass air about them that makes you want to hold your nose and move quickly around them. While you are busy being your authentically kind and fabulous self, your energy will clash with theirs so you can see their smog take over the surroundings. Energy attracts like energy and repels unlike energy. What they think if you truly becomes none of your business… because your only true business is surrounding yourself with folks who return your dopeness and kindness with dopeness and kindness. Vibes.

And if you are unsure of your level of importance, the amount of relationship equity you have in a situation, trust that if you don’t already know, if the connect ain’t connected to you, you probably aren’t as high up the chain as you thought you were.

Check the vibes, and act accordingly.

Building ships

I’m invoking Jermaine Jackson for some musical inspiration… that’s pre-hair shellac Jermaine, but post Jackson 5 nostrils Jermaine…

“We’re like two ships on the ocean/That pass through the night”-Jermaine Jackson

Some people we pick, others the universe just kinda puts in our face. I’ve found a lot of my personal picks were based off of things that don’t really matter once you get put into the open sea…how they looked, their background, education level, wealth, shoe game, whatever. It was like judging the ability of an ocean liner to stay afloat based on its name… The World Traveller might not make it off the shore. The universe pushes you towards people who will do your soul good and away from people who only mean you harm. It’s in the ions and shit. Two separate ships in the night just pass one another, but when we are trying to build a ship together, we need to really unite on a soul level.

I have bestie who is like my square, that person you go to to get back on point, who reminds you who TF you are when you forget, who stands on the mound and goes to bat for you, but who also calls you on your fouls. I have a man that supports me, loves me, ensures that I am well emotionally and will defend my honor physically if need be. My mama is dope, and tells me I’m smart and responsible and better. Those are the main ships in my fleet. But I have space and room in the docks. Some of my folks don’t seem to make sense if you think you know me or you think you know them… you base that on mostly visual and some social perceptions. But relationship building, is much like building a ship…

One will weave the canvas; another will fell a tree by the light of his ax. Yet another will forge nails, and there will be others who observe the stars to learn how to navigate. And yet all will be as one. Building a boat isn’t about weaving canvas, forging nails, or reading the sky. It’s about giving a shared taste for the sea, by the light of which you will see nothing contradictory but rather a community of love. – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry in “Citadelle”

You see, you are drawn to, you often don’t pick, your team. The group of people who help you reach higher ground. My team is so beasty! One a motivator; another who lives in service to others, a constant supporter; yet another who is organized will keep you on task and structured in your grind; and then the one that keeps the laughs and the party going when you most need them. You come together with these people individually and build rowboats, lifeboats, motorboats, to get you both where you need to be from day to day. Then often those people come together in a way to help you go from shore to shore. Whether one person or several, they are supportive, kind, empathetic, attentive… things that you wouldn’t know extrinsically about someone who just enters your life. But your energy brought them to you. After all, we are all just beings made up of energy, it’s in the ions and shit.

In high school my friends were cute and super smart, and some small part of me at 15 cared that they were cute and super smart … but they were also good people who had my back. Those same girls were the women who watched my son when I was sick, kept my home stocked with groceries so my ex-husband wouldn’t starve, and flew to see me in No Man’s Land, Oklahoma when some raggedy dude was acting an ass and I felt alone in that godforsaken town. In college, many of the guys I met … I probably only paid attention to at 18, in part, because they had good teeth, handsome bone structure, and cars. Yet many of them have become friends who I learn from constantly . I have also made some friends who, like me, were successful and no nonsense, but they liked me better when I was standoffish and uninterested in new people. They are no longer my friends because I changed, grew, opened up, and they didn’t like my progress. Most of the friends I have made more recently, might not even seem like “my kind” of people to outsiders… but yet we connect deeper. You can’t see souls, you can only feel them!

Smiley and Frowny
Winky and Side Eyer
Extravert and Introvert
Tall’ums and Short’ums

Don’t judge books by their covers, ships by the names emblazoned on the side, people by your assumptions. You are likely wrong. I mean who knew in the 2003 Kentucky Derby, Funny Cide would beat Empire Maker… I mean who sounds faster, stronger, more horse racey? But when your grandfathers are Slewacide and Forty Niner, and your stable mate is a young American Pharoah (Triple Crown winner) you might just be a beast! Always, always, bet on beasty! It’s in the ions and shit!