Actuarial Science

I was born underwater, with three dollars, and six dimes…yea you may laugh, cause you did not do your math…” -Erykah Badu

I’m a pretty smart chickadee… but I learn something every day, at least I hope to. Recently, I got some knowledge that brought me full circle. The kind of shit that wows you and blows up everything you thought you knew about some of your fundamentals … mine being love, humanity, spirituality, and culture. It was a combination of thoughts I’d had, beliefs I had acquired, but in one coherent ideaology, wrapped up into one digestible morsel. A Hershey’s kiss of sorts. The God candy.

I’m your mister, you my misses with hugs and kisses -Method Man, You’re All I Need


So what I seek to do is share with y’all the things I learn. I believe in God. I’m a student of spirituality, a deist. I am open minded enough to know that if God created humans, nature, and the universe, we can find God in everyone and everywhere. I believe most in love and in balance. So when I’m upset, angry, disappointed, whatever… I try to get in balance by understanding where I am versus where I need to be to receive all of the gifts God has for me. As the author of my favorite book of all time, The Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo writes, “When you want something all of the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”

I won’t get into a whole discussion in religion, but I have never been much into anything that is abstract. I know the first chicken didn’t make itself, nor did the first tree. So clearly some power much greater than me exists. As long as we have that general idea in common I’m gonna rock with you. Cuz people who believe in nothing, they scare me. But religion as a construct just seeks to control our thoughts and actions as does anything that separates us into groups.

Part of my continuing education is studying those things that our most common ideologies tell us are off limits. Astrology, numerology, Africa as the birthplace of civilization, Black people being amazing… that type shit. In numerology, 7 is the number of completion and perfection. It is made up of the number 3 which is the number of harmony (3 states of matter, 3 types of particles, 3 types of charges, 3 dimensions of space and time), and the number 4 which is the number of justice and order (four points, four winds, four phases of the moon, four seasons, and four parts of the soul). Seven is also the number of nature.

  • 7 continents
  • 7 days of the week
  • 7 species of fruit
  • 7 oceans
  • 7 vertebrae in the neck
  • 7 layers of skin
  • 7 colors in a rainbow
  • 7 notes of sound
  • 7 directions
  • 7 holes in your head
  • 7 dimensions of a cube
  • 7 body parts on a man
  • 7 erogenous zones on woman
  • 7 year cycle of economics
  • 7 human needs
  • 7 attributes of physicality
  • 7 visual celestial objects
  • 7 stars make up the Big Dipper
  • 7 days in each part of normal menstrual cycle

The God Number.


Full circle moment…I was talking to my brother about music, Wu Tang and New York rapper’s in particular and how he’s begun listening with the 120 Lessons in mind. He hands me a text. It is the handbook for the Five Percent Nation, Supreme 120 Lessons: For the Nation of Gods and Earths. He says to me, After reading this, I hear it with new ears. The shit sounds different.

Wu-Tang you say? I heard the Shaolin call ringing in my ears… suuuuuu.

Familiar only in passing with the Five Percenters, I read the short book sitting there, and immediately felt like I had just found myself between its pages. The crux of the text being a Black people’s guide to gain full Understanding of the Truth about who we are to become a member of the 5% of the population with freedom of mind. Religion, Education, Politics, Race Theory, Wealth… all of it a means of controlling the narrative to tell you who you are or should be, instead of giving you the freedom to discover yourself.


This is done by implementing the fundamentals of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding to strengthen yourself, your family, and your community to bring you closer to enlightenment.

1. Knowledge 
Knowledge is the accumulation of facts thru observing, learning, and respecting. Knowledge is the foundation of all in existence, for it must be “known” in order to make it manifest.  1 or Knowledge is also Man.

2.  Wisdom 
Wisdom is Knowledge acted upon. Wisdom is Water, or the vital building block of life. 2 or Wisdom is also Woman.

3.  Understanding 
Understanding is the addition of Knowledge & Wisdom(1+2=3), complete comprehension. 3 or Understandingis also Child. The highest form of Understanding is Love. Understanding is built from Knowledge first-and-foremost.

4. Culture Culture and/or Freedom 
Culture is a way of life practiced. It can also be Freedom in certain contexts, because the greater yourKnowledge-Wisdom-&-Understanding the closer your Culture will be to True-Freedom. Your Understanding stems from your Knowledge (1+3=4)

5. Power is gained through wisdom and understanding (2+3=5)

6. Equality gained through collective understand (3+3=6)

7. God
God is Perfection, the Supreme Being/Energy which is the origin of all the universe. G is also the seventh letter in the alphabet, God sees with the seven colours of the rainbow and hears with the seven notes on the musical scale. Love-Culture (3+4=7). The God Number.

8. Build/Destroy either you elevate or ruin your culture (4+4=8)

9. Born, as 9 gives birth to itself (9+9=18 (1+8=9));

0. Cypher, the Circle, 360 degrees (120 degrees of Knowledge, 120 degrees of Wisdom, 120 degrees of Understanding)

Stop for a second. Think of all the hip hop lyrics you know with these references:

We on another level of planning, of understanding/The bond between man and woman, and child/The highest elevation ’cause we above/ All that romance crap, just show your loveMethod Man

With knowledge of self, there’s nothing I can’t solve, at 360 degrees I revolve…”–Rakim “Move the Crowd”

The 10%ers promoting slander in the airtime. -Gangstarr, Above the Clouds

To manifest the fabric mathematic black be that of asiatic. –Poor Righteous Teachers

Can you imagine from in single idea everything appeared here. Understanding makes my truth crystal clear. -RZA “Impossible”


The Five Percent Nation was founded in 1964 in Harlem, NY, right as hip hop was being birthed on the streets of the five Burroughs. The language of the genre had clearly developed, in part, from the 120 Lessons. The merging of the two worlds meant hip hop as a culture being a way of life for youth of the urban streets to gain an understanding of their whole self. Whoa… the “three dollars and six dimes” reference. Oh damn. 3 dollars (300) and six dimes (60)=360. We are born complete… made in Gods perfect image and his perfect love. Gods on Earth.

Shut up… I don’t wanna hear it. Yes, I just got that shit 20 years later.

You can still believe what you believe and find real value in enlightenment. If you live your life with the general premise that knowing who you are allows you to love yourself and others, you are living in God’s image. Enlightenment represents the trifecta of human intelligence, spirituality, and humanity. The God Body.

Anything that goes against love or leaves you feeling or projecting the antithesis of love means you aren’t putting what you know about yourself and your own power into practice. In other words you are failing to demonstrate wisdom. Only through the active giving and receiving of yourself to others can we gain more knowledge, God’s gift to us. Through knowledge we can overcome:

Insecurity … when you know who you are, you don’t doubt your worth or your place.

Jealousy… no one else’s worth or place threatens your own because you are clear about your value and where you belong.

Disappointment… what is for you will be yours, what is not for you, throws you off balance and leads to chaos. Understanding that you give up your own power when you neglect to be wise.

Hate… anyone who understands that the giving of love, and not the hoarding of things or money, is the way towards true wealth and the receipt of all the gifts God has for them, has no reason to not spread that love to everyone. Love always KO’s hate. Always.

Fear… the exact opposite of understanding. There is nothing to be scared of when you have love guiding you, God always leads us properly it is us who venture off course. A key ingredient in hate and insecurity is fear. It is through that fear that knowledge is withheld and manipulated by 10% of the world to control the 85%. The 5% of us who truly understand know false evidence can never truly be real, despite its appearance.

If we were made in his image/ Then call us by our names/ Most intellects do not believe in god/ But they fear us just the same. – Erykah Badu



Science Dropped!

First Corinthians

I did a short series on Love Is… the series and the topic. Go back and read it #shamelessplug. But recently, I have been reminded more of what love is not, than what it is.  And like the modern day griot that I am , I thought I would share my lessons with ya’ll.  You ready to learn?  Grab a seat…

At the age of nine, I went to catechism, an intense Bible study before Catholic baptism, for those who don’t know, and it solidified I am a heathen. I always ended up doodling or designing dresses or something other than listening to that woman with post nasal drip and dirty spectacles. But anyway… we read the Bible, Exodus to The Book of Revelation, and out of all of those, the lesson I recall most, and probably the only bible verse I can quote like rap lyrics, is this golden nugget from First Corinthians…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a

First Corinthians was written by Paul to his struggling church. At the time, Christians were struggling with how to exist together, resolve conflict, live in goodness, and bestow mercy upon one another. This letter speaks to the soul of these men and women, and gives them a blueprint of how to love one another and ultimately live in harmony and righteousness.  Basically it is Take 6… “More love is what we need” in thou shalt nots! It is not just about love of thy neighbor, but it encapsulates all forms of love and the process of being in relationship with another human being.

Llewellyn Vaughn-Lee calls the soul, the “part of us that is one with God”, and since God is love, the soul must be the place in us where love resides. Most say it’s the heart, but the heart beats and gives us life, it is the conduit to living soulfully. And a life of soul is a life of love. Think of every soul song you’ve heard… from Muddy Waters “She’s my life I need her so” to John Legend’s “Love your curves and all you edges, all your perfect imperfections” and the Queen of Soul, Aretha’s “How can I give you all I can if you’re tying both my hands!” … what is that if not love. You knew it really did when Rose Royce claimed love “don’t live here anymore.”

“I think I love her…”

The soul is the place that interprets the real meaning of art, music, and color. It gives our dreams wings and puts our voices in front of the choir. It is the place where love is cultivated, planted, grown, nurtured, harvested. The soil where the vision for our life is grown.  So what it is and why it is, are essential to properly gifting and receiving its ultimate gift…

When two people who care for one another seek to unify, in whatever way they define that unity, both people usually enter the ring with protective gear on, and slowly remove that protection to show their true selves. Over time, they trust in their partner to become a tag team. However, where there is impatience, envy, pride, anger, tit for tat behavior, and distrust… people tend to get thicker gloves, knee pads, elbow pads, and get ready to rumble.  But eventually the fight isn’t worth the reward, so people part.  Souls part.  Two people who once shared life and experience, but have not quite learned the power of love, cannot properly give or receive it.  Broken souls cannot be anything other than what Paul teaches us love is not.

“Gucci you don’t love me…”

I recently had a situation where the man I was dating with intention, started to show signs of insecurity.  About everything.  His finances, my finances… sir my finances, other than my basic  stability, are none of your concern… my dreams, my desire to remove myself from stressful situations, my dealings with my child and his father… like I said, everything.  He found a way to take issue with everything I said or did suddenly, and time has taught me that usually only gets worse.  Plus, I don’t have an MD in insecurity, I could not cure it.  So, after a bit of trying to coax him back to reality, as all of his insecurities were rooted in fantasy, I decided to move on.  His insecurities had nothing to do with me, they were remnants of his broken soul… and his broken soul could not possibly love me properly.  Hell, I’m a handful to my damn self.  More than one person outside of our relationship said he was envious.  Envious that I wasn’t struggling, of my dreams, of my ability to dream, of my NERVE to dream big King Kong sized dreams, and of my ability to see myself beyond the moment.  Love… does not envy.

Similarly, my girlfriends and I have had relationships with men who we were some sort of conquest to, and our decisions to partner with them, nothing more in their minds than a conquest won.  What we did, how we looked, what we wore, the degrees on our wall, awards on our desk, and titles behind our names were all moments they could use to show how accomplished they were in the relationship department.  Which in turn they credited to themselves, us having them in our lives… albeit a short time, cuz… They were only serving self and being arrogant. My accomplishments are not tools for the braggadocio and his hubris.  Loving others is not about you -🎉SURPRISE! 🎊! -it is about others. Love is… showing others the love that God gives us. Love does not boast and it is not self-seeking.

Anyone that will only do for you when you have equally done for them, regardless of your ability or need. Love is not self-seeking.

Anyone that rushes or forces you into a situation or is unwilling to allow you to move at the pace best needed for your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Love is not impatient.

Anyone that cannot keep their hands from touching and tongue from lashing out in anger, ridicule, disrespect, and hurt towards you. Love is not easily angered.

Anyone who holds your faults and flaws against you to attack you with later, or is simply unkind in word or in deed. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love is kind.

These people are incapable of loving you in the way that God loves you, and therefore incapable of sharing their soul with you as is.  You are Otis Redding and they are Ozzy Osbourne… two completely different individuals, neither better than the other, neither right nor wrong, both singing, just different.  But only one with real “from the diaphragm” soul! (No shade Ozzy…)

Love is also not unsure, inconsistent, doubtful, or painful.  It is unifying, connecting, where the two ends meet and everything comes together, full circle.

No one taught me that, but experience.

At nineteen, I read what would become my favorite book of all time, Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison during one of my few months off from college. One of the characters is named First Corinthians.  Her character is the first born daughter of the family at the center of the novel, and she is born into wealth and education.  However, despite her own education, she ends up working as a maid and falls in love with a porter.  Corrie, as they called her, never found favor with the life of excess she was afforded, as it was broken and soulless.   She is a story in unity, a story in soul, a story in love.  When I first read this book, I was drawn to her character, but I really had no idea why. But over time I recognized she and I were a lot alike.

Like First Corinthians I want to be unified in my relationships, of every kind, and I would rather enjoy the what is than the what it can be, the soulful over the mindful. What is rational and logical is a mix of looking to the past for guidance and looking to the future to apply it. An application of issue, reasoning, analysis, and conclusion that does not fit the bill. While we have to be level-headed and smart… and I’m smart than a mug in these intellectual streets… real love cannot be explained by the Pythagorean theory and the soul is not a science project to dissect and diagram. Its the seventh sense. The ninth wonder of the world. The 13th member of the Wu-Tang Clan.

“ I’ve often said love, could open any door, but I wish we had much more…”