The 2020 Commandments

So we are just a few shawt hours from 2020, and reflection is important for growth. So, in my search for growth I’m looking back at all the foolishness, success, good, bad, and fucking ugly that permeated 2019. The truth is, I allowed too many people to test my gangsta and too many unnecessary disruptions to my peace. So let’s talk about it.

I call these

1. Thou shalt not let clowns into your personal space, cuz that’s called a circus. I vowed to become more friendship open in 2019 and more forgiving. I did both and I realized that while being open is the key to allowing the space for blessings, you still gots to be careful about who you extend yourself too, and how. Everyone ain’t for everybody. Lemme repeat it… everyone ain’t for everybody. Some people will be good to talk to, others good to share with, others good to fellowship with, and some good for all three. Likewise, some of these folks are good for absolutely nothing. Nothing. When you recognize them, don’t expect time or your presence to change that…

2. Thou shalt not expect without effort. You gotta put in work for what you want, none of the shit… not money, success, mental health, physical fitness, love, or a good life is available in a giveaway… period.

3. Thou shalt not keep your eye on everything BUT your money … Here’s the thing… financial health is linked to overall health. Ones ability to eat well, take time out for self-care, and be mentally well is linked to how well we set ourselves up for financial success. When having and access to the basic necessities are not a concern, you are freer to concentrate on higher level needs to take your quality of life into the stratosphere. Take a stocks class. Learn about real estate and investing.

4. Thou shalt not let people treat you bad. Ever! Protect and love yourself enough to dismiss them at the first sign of mistreatment. It’s not your job to heal other folks by taking their shit and sticking around to your destruction.

5. Thou shalt not treat other people bad. Release anyone in your space that you won’t treat with ultimate respect and honor. They are not for you. It’s not their fault, but be in charge of your own life and responsible for your emotions and actions.

6. Thou shalt not remain unhealed. No explanation needed.

7. Thou shalt not let people get away with fuck shit. So here’s the thing, you don’t have to be nasty to get with somebody about their ridiculousness. You might be the only person who cares enough to let them know, so they can fix it. So tell your friends when they are out of order. Call your family out on their generational curses. Let people know you are many things, but never the one to fuck with.

8. Thou shalt not hold grudges. Forgive. Give grace if you decide to. But holding on to anger about other folks actions is pointless.

9. Thou shalt not withhold self love. You are worthy.

10. Thou shalt not compare yourself to other people. We each get a unique set of qualities put together in a package unlike what any one else has. That’s yours… work with that, better it, and worry not about other folks. Where they are, what they have, how they look, talk, or walk. That’s theirs. It’s space for all of us to be great. No one will ever have your unique brand of greatness.

11. Thou shalt use your words. Maybe you know some but I don’t know any mind readers.

12. Thou shalt not EVER apologize for who you are. Sometimes you have to apologize for the actions you take or the things you say… but who you are, who you really are is always ok. Be clear though… if you are allowing yourself to act and talk like an asshole, fix that…

13. Thou shalt not give your all to anyone giving you crumbs. If someone doesn’t want your friendship or partnership, they should walk away or you should. Only users are willing to eat from the pot and never add any ingredients.

14. Thou shalt not look for other people to give you what you should be giving yourself. That goes for love, happiness, wealth, health, whatever. Do your work. You will attract what you need in a partner when you provide for yourself.

15. Thou shalt not be unkind or unloving. We are made in God’s image to treat other people with the same kindness and love we receive from Him. In any and every situation we must be good to each other on a basic level. It’s a choice to be anything other than… no one makes us into hateful ass people, we choose to be that.

16. Thou shalt not be greedy with knowledge. Each one teach one. Let’s get communal and share what we have learned with others, so we build great people, families, neighborhoods, communities, and nations.

17. Thou shalt not mistake a win for a loss. We often feel like we have missed out, caught an L, had something taken away… when in fact we have won because that thing, that person, that feeling was not meant for us. Had it stayed any longer it may have destroyed a piece of us, but instead we were protected from its harm. Things don’t go away because we are meant to suffer because of its absence but instead because we cannot learn and grow in its presence.

18. Thou shalt not lack understanding. In Supreme Mathematics, understanding is the manifestation of wisdom gained by knowledge, which is seen and felt as love. When you know who you are, and you know your purpose, you share that with the world and it’s your gift of service to humanity. No greater human love is there than giving of yourself… extend that to others. You can never go wrong. (And no one not Muslim or a Five Percenter by faith but I am definitely striving to become a beacon of knowledge to those around me so we all reach our truest self.)

19. Thou shalt not be a hater ever! It’s enough out here for all of us.

20. Thou shalt not be lame. Take a risk. Open up. Laugh out loud. Wear sequins on a Tuesday. Wear white when you want to. Tell that clown to beat it. Stay ready. Don’t wait on slow mofos. And don’t just stand there, busy a MF move!

2019 was definitely about growth.

2020 will be about manifestation. Thou shalt manifest #thatnewshit in 2020!


“Tell me, whats your November? Is it a person?
Mine was the Summer ’06, I remember”-
Tyler the Creator, November

You ever wanted to grow out your short style or fill in your struggle beard? If so, you know that growth is a slow and steady process… slower even when you watch it because you are inspecting yourself for changes at every moment. Wait… can I tuck it behind my ear? Ohhh shit , I think it’s long enough to put it in a ponytail! Wait a minute, that goatee and that sideburn had a meeting!!!

Well, that’s how most growth feels that you need. Slow and steady!


“…like that lil engine, I could!” -Meek Mill, Dreams & Nightmares

We live in the age of instant gratification. I want it all, and I want it now. And you can basically get all that shit on Amazon by 9pm with a Prime membership. All of it. But while you can probably find a book with everything in it from the the explanation behind the Big Bang to why Solange beat Jay-Z’s ass in the elevator… you can’t buy the key to personal growth, wisdom.

Wisdom is the use of knowledge to free oneself from the confines of ignorance to seek the truth. The key to personal growth is in the thinking and not the feeling. We often let our emotions take over, instead of being in control of our reactions and allowing ourselves both rational thought and appropriate emotionality. A wise person takes responsibility for your actions and reactions in the face of fear or the unknown.

Seen my dreams unfold, nightmares come true

The particulars of an experience are not important (to anyone but us), but it’s the typical dichotomy of good v not so good that prepares our space to grow.

fabulous woman/ dumb dude

great guy/foolish girl

security /jealousy

intelligent and overlooked/ stupid and privileged

I’ll give you the sun, the rain, the moon, the stars, and the mountains/oops I’m inconsistent

she’s like a sister or he’s like a brother /oops IT’S A GIRL 👶🏽

supportive friend/hater

It’s fucked up going through it and even more fucked up in the aftermath. The truth is that we intrinsically know we need to evolve and set ourselves up for that experience. So instead of pure emotion, we should be prepping ourselves. People show you who they are long before they hit you in the head with it. It is our baggage, that unhealed foolishness lingering around like a weight, that lets us believe we can change or manipulate or worse deserve someone no good for us. Similarly we enter experiences that scream:

I knew last November, that I was making a grave mistake. I mean I jumped into that sucka feet first plunging into the cold rough waters, and a negro CANNOT swim! I hadn’t unpacked and discarded the baggage I had from the last encounter with this demon… so I easily let him in when he knocked. But it was the typical rain, moon, stars shit when all that nigga had was a PlayStation 3 and a collection of Polo shirts. Once I knew that, I applied that knowledge and got the fuck outta Dodge. Trust yourself… was the lesson I learned. I unpacked that lesson, and then threw the whole suitcase away…there was nothing else in that experience worth salvaging. I was able to handle it, unlike how I handled most matters such as these, by keeping my emotions in check but not caged, and using common sense (those red horns) to ascertain that he was still a demon. They show you who they are…

It was time to marry the game and I said…Yeah, I do

You see, it’s that shit you leave hanging, the rotten fruit that hasn’t fallen from the tree yet, that’s baggage. And it’s untrue that baggage comes with the journey. You don’t start the journey until you unpack that shit, figure out what it is, if it still fits you, if you still have a place for it, putting it up, and pulling out the next item.

Why am I fabulous but dealing with a dumb ass? He can’t give you shit that doesn’t belong to him…Why did I bother? Why did I lower my standards, ignore my own needs, and dim my light for anyone, let alone a dimwit?

You sit and stew in that. Then figure out what about yourself you need to fix to pull yourself out and never do that shit again. That’s growth!

…oh shit, I got inches.

“If you want it you gotta see it with a clear-eyed view

Once you grow your hair out or that full beard, then you have to style it, trim it, keep it neat and healthy. That’s the aftermath. The same is true for personal growth. On the other side of growth is redemption. So no more fuckboys, just good grown consistent, supportive, and men. No more silly broads, get you a grown woman. Don’t let any haters steal your joy, and be aware of when it’s time to move on and time to stay and fight. Mastery of the knowledge you have acquired will lead to wisdom, the rainbow. Wisdom comes from healing… sun. And that healing is made possible by pain… the rain.

One full rotation around the sun, after a summer full of rain, and it’s November again…

“Hold up wait a minute, y’all thought I was finished?”