We are happy for you and all…

We are still in a whole panini, still posting all our business… every single minute, claiming one way rivalries, sub tweeting and posting instead of addressing people directly as WHOLE adults, and still seeking validation for our every move. It’s been a year since we’ve been in the house and it had definitely taken it’s toll. But I’m tired of ya’ll and I want you to do and be better. I feel obligated to tell you about yourselves.

To start, since I am an equal opportunity shit starter, I will begin with myself. I need to definitely ditch some shit that means me no good, I need to delete Door Dash off my phone, take on five less projects, and I need to do as much for myself as I am willing to do for others… and it can’t just be retail therapy, buying shit is not only what self-care is made of. I get on my own nerves. So trust me, I’m not just gonna get all up in your business. I too must get on the good foot. I cannot expect results while I sit idle.

So back to y’all. Stop it.

The internet has fooled us into thinking people support us, care about our lives, and want to see us win. Unless your village got swallowed by a sinkhole, chances are they are directly invested in your success. Your people are your family, friends, close network, your “how many of us have thems”. The rest of us, we care but only for a little while. Some of us on your friends list will clap for you a few times when you celebrate your successes… fa sho… but eventually we just see that shit and keep it moving. Not because we aren’t happy for you… we are… but we got 500 FB friends and some number of folks on Instagram, subscribe to our cousins not so great podcast, listen to a few Clubhouse chats, do Tik Tok challenges with our kids, and we stay on Twitter cuz it’s fast and only 140 characters and not four paragraphs of someone’s theory on why Malcolm ate that mac and cheese like it really was good. We busy… and we already know your kid is smart and you have three side hustles, a perfect spouse, and a 800 credit score. We wanna be down… blah blah blah. But we just don’t have time to care.

This is not hater syndrome, be clear, we are happy for you. But eventually we just feel obligated to tell you how great you are because you keep posting about it. And fewer and fewer people come to your party. So for those of us who are just too damn nice… of which I am not one… really consider why you must tell us every move of your success meter. If it’s just excitement, then carry on… who I am I to tell you not to be geeked. But if it’s to get validation from people around you because you want to be seen… stop. We see you, we saw you, we’ll see you again. That need to be acknowledged is but a degradation of your greatness… it’s neither necessary nor healthy.

Did you know Jay-Z sold half of Ace of Spades to LVMH to the tune of around 100 Million and a share of his interest in Tidal to Square for $297 Million in the past month. Big King King Boss moves… made in silence. You probably didn’t know unless you keep up with such things … and you still thought he was a certified successful billionaire boss.. right? When you move with confidence, folks don’t need all the particulars to see you are shining.

So relax… we see you. Oh and Sidebar… when you have something to say to someone in direct response to a comment they made, address them directly, that whole subtweet/subpost, I’m talking to and about you without talking to you, among fully grown people, is some heaux shit. What we are nit gonna do is address folks while simultaneously leaving them out of the conversation as a way to silence people. Nope. Don’t do it. Bottom line… when you have something to say, go ahead, just ensure it’s coming from a healthy place and not a place of insecurity. Don’t invite all the strangers to your party just so the pictures make you look popular.. ya dig!

West Side of the Story

I posted a question on FB …

“If people told their side of the story… how would your rep hold up?”

Of course the responses were… hate me or love me, imma be me. I get it, but the question is a tad more multi-layered than how people experience you, but more about how much of your truth you are living. My guess is this… most people are hiding from some of their truth, not all, but most. Those of us who have grown and matured realize hiding any part of ourselves will never lead to growth and getting better.

I’m a good person. I believe in the power of love, the action of it, and I surround myself with people who I think are good as well because I desire to be as good to people as possible. I’m smart, creative, passionate, and a SuperFriend, but

  • I’m in the Legion of Doom… I avoid and cut off people who are toxic or no good for me, when I discover it, because I can be a grudge holder and vengeful and I don’t desire to do wrong by people no matter how much they have wronged me. I’m still working on that.

Vengeance is mine said the Lord. Vengeance is mine said the Lord… I often say that like Hail Marys when I am reminded of some fuckshit someone did and the brilliant and fascinating ways I can make them pay.

  • I’m not a people person, so I have a tendency to not notice people, at all.
  • I’m opinionated… often too much so.
  • I’m a bit judgey… I do keep it to myself. But it’s there behind the scenes.
  • I’m sensitive. I’m not good with criticism.

You can’t tell me or anyone anything about myself I don’t acknowledge. So my reputation wouldn’t change, and yes it matters to me as far as how the people I do care about. So ask yourself, if those people you want to keep around knew how you were out here treating others or what you were representing to others , if their side of the story was broadcast … would you still have a team?!? What would they think of you?


Let me help.

-You ain’t about love if you are a bully

I don’t fuck with bullies. You are a major fraud if you are out here preaching about love and in the shadows you are being the Gooch. Nobody ever saw the Gooch. Nobody but the victims see a bully trying to front like an empath. So in effect, you are t only trying to silently torture them, you are torturing them to silence. Just wear brass knuckles and cut your hair like Drago, be out with your aggression, if you are aggressive. But that’s just it, bullies are cowards. They only prey on people they assume are weak in that one spot they keep poking. Playing on the victims tenderness and bruises.

If people told their side of the story… how would your rep hold up?

If people knew you were a bully, they’d question all that love you throw around like confetti. Gucci, you don’t love me!

-Real support can not be built upon a desire to own stock in someone

Don King was a supreme opportunist. He found Mile Tyson after Bustamante died, when he needed guidance and a friend and support. He promised him the world to find ways to take from him. He wanted to own stock in Mike Tyson, not support him. Likewise, if you are out here heaping empty promises at the feet of those in need or even extending yourself to people simply to possess them, whether for your own comfort or for your own use and manipulation, that’s foul. Other people are not commodities. Go buy a dog if you are lonely, journal, go out and make some friends… but don’t offer your support for personal gain. That’s not support, it’s a contract. People who really need and desire support will be left broken and feeling used because of your lack of humanity or your lack of attention. Own your own masters, and master your fate. Leave people alone if you arent going to be genuine.

If people told their side of the story… how would your rep hold up?

If people knew your support came with selfish motives, they wouldn’t trust you or the horse you rode in on.

-Anything you feel the need to scream from the mountaintop when you in the valley is likely not real

Thou dost protest too much. I used to know this guy who told everyone he was a model. He literally said it to me multiple times in each conversation we had… and when I finally asked him who he modeled for, what agency he belonged to, he couldn’t. He was perpetrating a fraud. Look, we know you are telling untruths, and it’s highly unnecessary. We can tell that your paychecks don’t match your profession. You can’t buy reality with misrepresentation. It just doesn’t work. Instead, you should focus on admitting your truth to yourself first, because it’s often not for everyone else, but it’s you that you are trying to convince you are happy, successful, living a fairytale or whatever. That dream world you are creating won’t stop the nightmares. Live your truth, face your reality, and heal from it. Folks that are your people will love you whether you are up or down, and will be willing to lift you when you start to fall… but they can only do that if you are honest.

If people told their side of the story… how would your rep hold up?

If people knew you were selling wolf tickets, they would probably be afraid they’d be the one to get bit.

-Textbook insecurity is when everything you find pleasing is opposite yourself

Insecurity is a disease of irony. It often manifests itself as the very thing one is not. He big ups himself as sport. He has to tell everyone how good looking he is, how successful he is, how connected he is, how fantastically wonderful popular and dynamic he is… all the time. He compliments himself so much, no one else needs to or wants to. It’s overkill. It’s ridiculous. And at the same time he’s over critical. When you are insecure, you turn those negative thoughts you have about yourself into negative actions. Actions you might not register as negative like distancing yourself, overreacting, confrontation, and being foul AF! Someone who is insecure often turns their negative actions on their head as self-protection, assertiveness, and truth telling. But the rest of us all know that’s bullshit! It’s not what they demonize that is the issue… it’s what they celebrate that tells you the real truth behind their low sense of self. They demonize folks for no good reason, to appear strong and self-secure. They highlight themselves as a distraction, while their true feelings are evident by who they celebrate outside of themselves… often their polar opposite.

If people told their side of the story… how would your rep hold up?

If people knew that your idea of being honest, assertive, and confident meant being foul and negative to other people who share the traits you despise about yourself, they’d see those commonalities as potential target practice.


None of us are 100% anything… humans lack perfection, it gives us something to grow towards. Anything not growing is dead. All that we are good is met with things not so good that we can work on to become better. But being honest about those things, to ourselves and to others, is necessary if we are to maintain relationships. Someone is experiencing us as we really are, and if that person exposed you, would the people who care about you experience you the same or see you different. If you are living your truth, the folks who know you, will know!

Looking… at the Front Door

  1. Check your phone
  2. Stalk you on social media to see whose booty pic you liked.
  3. Sneak watch you texting people.
  4. Give a DAMN about any of that.

That’s a list of what I’m NOT gon do!

So let’s be honest. Black men don’t cheat my ass… they cheat, women cheat, Indian transsexuals cheat, Tibetan polyamorous bisexuals cheat. People are imperfect. People are stupid. People are selfish. People are tempted and weak. But what won’t happen, is me looking for your cheating.


The cliches are true…

What is done in the dark will come to light!

If you go looking for trouble, you’ll find it.

But if you got a job, a life, take care of your skin, and drink your own water, you don’t have time to concern yourself with the transgressions of other individuals who don’t respect or care about your feelings and who give up.

Cheating is giving up. A cheater is a quitter. Instead of dealing with issues that arise they take your relationships trade secrets outside of the relationship and with it their intimacy, insecurity, and infidelity. Flag on the play! Now if you choose to forgive and move forward with that person, cheers to you! However, cheating, that is a deal breaker over this way.

But looking at attractive women, talking about attractive women, sharing with their friends, communicating with their friends… it ain’t cheating. It’s not something I care to spend any time worrying about… because you can be sure I’m looking at these fine chocolate brothas, talking to my friends about these fine chocolate brothas, talking to my friends when I need to, and checking on ALL of my people. I have zero interest in cheating on anyone, but I’m neither blind nor dead and fine is fine… okay. Most importantly, I am secure in mine. If you wanna give up this 80 and go get that 20, go ahead. But numbers don’t lie… only men and women do.

I’m a fan of not just emotional intelligence but sexual intelligence. The sight of a beautiful woman should be something you look at, it’s aesthetically pleasing, and ABSOLUTELY healthy and normal. If you looked at me that way, chances are you see all these other fine ass girls too. Finding someone attractive and acting on that attraction are two entirely different things. The ability to do the former without engaging in the latter… a sign of sexual intelligence.

So follow Big Booty Judy on Instagram if you want… but have some fucking loyalty… if the sneakers she has on with those booty shorts are fire… show your girl. Keeping that kinda stuff from me will get you thank you nexted. All that other, I’m unconcerned with.

But go sharing the ole bait and tackle… that’s a one way ticket to Nopelandia and I live in Yestopia.

“I say it now like I said it before
I’m lookin’ at the front door” -Main Source

Ayesha …

“Ayesha so glad to meet ya!” -Another Bad Creation

Ayesha Disa Curry … is one half of a brand… The cute kids, the beautiful, dedicated, business woman, the superstar athlete who dotes on her, and three adorable social media cute kids. High school sweethearts. They got all the ingredients for a ready made reality show.

But halt…

Contrary to popular belief… she is not just Steph Curry’s wife. While he might be dribbling the ball, she’s a major player in his success. They have been a couple since they were 15 years old… there is no way that her support and dedication hasn’t made it possible for him to rise to the level of success he has. He might be the dunk, but she’s the rebound and the assist… shit didn’t happen without her. So Ayesha gets to have a voice of her own… she’s earned that. And y’all are super mad she used it.

So her Red Table talk confession that the female attention her husband receives in front of her, and her lack of outwardly expressed attention from other men, especially as a new mother, makes her feel some level of insecurity about her beauty and whether she is desirable. The internet ran rampant with memes and opinions from left to right. Folks, mainly men and dishonest women, were mad butt hurt that she dared be honest about her feelings and simultaneously display some ego. She’s a chick with a baller…if she will publicly throw him under the bus then what does that mean for us? Shit… we buy our wives vacuums for their birthdays, and wait…

Him: Did you color your hair, are those those highlight things? Whose attention are you trying to get?

Her: I colored my hair two years ago?

Do our women want male attention too?

If I’m a woman, does her confession resonate with some real thoughts and insecurities I might have?

(Sing) 🎶 “Ayesha…”

“The ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something, but to be something.” -Muhammad Iqbal

What she said is not an uncommon feeling for women, especially as we change. Other men are rarely going to holla at you right in your man’s face… while bold women will certainly shoot their shot. And certainly with her cuz that’s a multi-millionaire basketball great you are married to. Any backlash or ass whooping she might get is worth every plane ticket and Chanel bag she might get as a consolation prize for being your dude’s side piece. She’s gonna take her chance. But being the woman of Steph Curry, one half of one of the biggest husband/wife brands in sports, chances are slim that many men will approach you. Plus you’ve got three kids, you are HIS HIS in their eyes. But their eyes still see.

“Ayesha, you know I want you so bad!”

Her admission that “ it’d be nice to know that, like, someone’s lookin” sent folks off the cliff. But let’s start at the beginning, she was ASKED “How do y’all deal with all the ladies around your men?” by Jada Smith. She didn’t just offer up this shit… she’s on an Internet talk show, being asked questions by the host. How dare she answer a direct question.

Society is thrilled by male ego… we see it ever present in sports, the workplace, our relationships. He wants to win, be successful, and be needed. Period. And that’s okay. But the moment a woman displays some ego…Load up the Scorpion and pelt her with dragon sized arrows. How dare she have an ego.

“It’s too big, it’s too wide, it’s too strong, it won’t fit…”

She’s a beautiful woman, of course men are paying her attention. It’s not outward so she doesn’t see it. But the hoes are bold and brash. It would leave any woman feeling some type of way. You lying if you say otherwise. Her choice to express those very real insecurities surrounded by women that support her, on a platform that airs on social media, got y’all all in your own feelings…

Check it… being rich, famous, successful, and beautiful, does not suddenly shield you from insecurity OR dictate that you cannot express how you feel. Her feelings are her own. She is not responsible for how you experience her non-violent and non-abusive expression. And the audacity of her to admit to having an ego… an ego that men and perpetually insecure women, cannot STAND that she displayed. Newsflash, we all have one. Fellas, that doesn’t mean we want to take advantage of the attention, but that doesn’t change the fact that everyone wants to feel wanted… and as people grow and change in a relationship, especially a public one, those romantic compliments sometimes get lost in the very real space of family, finances, business, the media, and celebrity. She said it, she doesn’t WANT the attention, she simply wants to feel wanted.

And fuck yeah every woman likes a well placed compliment, someone glancing at them like they are an in between breakfast and lunch snack, a smile, a “hey beautiful”. If you are professing so hard that all your self-esteem, every ounce of it at all times is on a thousand cuz you love yourself …blah blah blah…me thinks thou dost protest too much. A little honesty and a little ego might just get you that attention you long for… from the man who you do want it from. You may not WANT the attention, but EVERYONE wants to feel wanted. Period. Fight me.

And fellas, I suggest you stop trying to understand and judge her position and instead figure out your own. I don’t know a woman alive who REALLY cares how friendly her dude is, if the groupies are riding your jock, you better let them know whose number only in your stable… especially if she’s standing there. Ain’t that much friendly in the world. IN THE WORLD! In relationships we take on roles of service to our mates. You better give her what she needs… especially if she’s help position you to get the groupies. Claim her out loud even in situations you don’t understand, but that she tells you cause her some bits of insecurity. Healing that insecurity is on her, but supporting her healing is your job sir. Get on it.

And anyone that just wants to tear her down because you tear down women for sport… from me on her behalf… swing on deez nuts “at the playground, ya know!”

(Sing )🎶 “Playground”