Pulling Numbers and Letters

So I’ve been told I must got the GCP. What’s the GCP you ask… well in the words of Jay Z and in the spirit of Don Magic Juan’s pimp challis, “my cup runneth over”

I hear it all the time…”who are you dating NOW!?!?” like I’ve got a wheel I spin to see who’s on my hit list this month. Or the ubiquitous, “You always got a (insert term for man: dude, boyfriend, whatever)” comment, that is so interesting to me. “Got” would imply in my vocabulary, something that one has on lock… yeah nope. I might be able to pull, as my one friend termed it “letters and numbers” (I’ll leave that for you to decipher), but dating is the pits. I personally despise it. Plus at this point, post 40 with kids as the custodial parent, there is no dating. Any outings or conversations, texts, or emoji sends are basically one long ass interview on how much you make me laugh, how long I can stand to be around you in one sitting, and whether you match at least three of my five must haves, that better quickly materialize into a relationship if you meet the requirements, or I gotta go.

Most of my first dates have morphed into relationships that last years. Instead of “dating”, I participate in the pull and catch; it really is self explanatory. There is a subtle art to the pull and the catch… and while I’m not interested in doing much more than expressing interest and then letting him find his good thing… cuz I’m a mf lady, I am involved in the process. Not that I’m an expert… but I pull a lot of As and Bs, and 9s to 7s. You can keep that 10 though, leave him for the chicks with time on their hands. He’s too pretty for how my life is set up.

The Art of the Pull

1. There is nothing sexier, in a man or a woman, than confidence. Period. When you know you are fine, he’ll know it and she’ll know it. Confidence is the art of aesthetic persuasion. Notice I didn’t speak of beauty, that’s too subjective a thing to use on humans. You need something foolproof.

Confidence is the reason she wore THAT dress, the one you hate and think she’s too whatever for, but that him, him, and her are staring at. Confidence is the reason she cut her hair the way she likes it, with no worries about what he thinks, or why he wears that combination of shirt, pants, and shoes that confuse you but your woman says “his outfit is NIIIICE!” Confidence is not bound by beauty, body type, color, or any subjective boundary… it’s an undeniable acceptance of how wonderfully made you are, despite whether you do or don’t fit into society’s ideals. And it’s 100% ownership in that acceptance. Get you sum.

2. If you are playing Bid Whist and you pass on your bid, and you knew you had 7 Uptown and the clowns next to you bid 6 Uptown -cue Aretha “Ain’t No Way”- how pissed will you be that you didn’t bet on yourself. You knew what you had and what you wanted, but you got scared of the win. Well, in dating, the win is the guy or girl you dream of, the one you know or don’t yet know who will check all your boxes. You have to bet on yourself when the opportunity presents itself, and speak on your wants. Now you don’t have to be full on direct, but if you are like me, you give an in. You leave the door ajar. You flirt, come hither, a little Happy Birthday Mr President… and then you go sit your cute ass down somewhere. If he’s in for the win, he’ll bet on himself, and complete the deal. If he’s not, he missed out. Cue the death of Pac-Man…

But always bet on you, know what you want, set a boundary, and then touch your boundary by going for the win. Shit, at least smile.

3. NO ONE LIKES REJECTION! Not women OR men. Just because men get rejected more, does not mean they enjoy it. C’mon, that’s ludicrous. So just like the thought makes you want to hide under a rock, it makes him want to hide in a cardboard fort. So, it is very important that you make sure he can see your open door… fellas too, women are shooting their shots out here these days. Its also important you clearly communicate with kindness your closed door. If you are involved, say so. If you aren’t interested for one reason or another, say so. If you simply are casing the joint and don’t yet know what you want, say that too. But whatever you message, make it clear. If one doesn’t have to guess what you want, but it’s clear, the more likely you’d get what you want! It’s a pull not a push.

The Art of the Catch

1. “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”

Okay so one wants flies, but if you want anything, you get much closer to your goal by being positive, with smiles, with kindness, and with, well, honey. There’s a reason Pooh ate it by the jar full… shit was good and sweet! Likewise, being a bitch will get you nowhere. Only assholes, real assholes like bitches, they enjoy that game. But people tryna boss up and get this money …

… have no time for that game, cuz tryna figure out your bad attitude takes up time away from the grind. Once you have pulled, you have to be kind and open to the catch. And while we’ll eat cod, every one prefers fresh water fish over salt water fish. Be not salty or stank.

2. Ella Mai said it best :

“I put my feelings on safety
So I don’t go shootin’ where your heart be

All that extra special crazy, it took you five minutes to text me back, trippin for nothing, checking his phone, acting a damn fool is for the birds. Yes, KeKe Wyatt might have that bomb snapper, but again, that’s your typical saltwater variety. It’s sure to run your pressure up and increase your light bill. Let’s look at the quality of her choosers. The last dude was a preacher who left her while she was pregnant with their third child, after she raised two of his children, right… okay enough said. We want to be a quality catch just like we want quality fishermen. And you simply are not exhibiting quality behaviors when you are acting a fool. You have to remember what pulled dude… your confidence, self-love, high esteem, win-win-win-win attitude, and your kindness. Keep those factors at play the entire time. Put your weapons down and rely on your personal stock of personality and class to end up, hooked up with a quality dude. But you gotta be quality first.

3. So since I’ve earned my degree in letters and numbers… I think it’s safe to tell you, that the final test, the piece de resistance, the grand finale of the catch is the most important. Webbie had I-N-D-E-P-E-D-E-N-T what you know about me… and I’ve got C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-Y, that shit’s so fly! So they say women date & marry men hoping they will change, and men date & marry women hoping they’ll stay the same. Now I’m all for growth, but I don’t think you have to change who you are fundamentally to grow, you just get better. I’m with the fellas. We should be FIRST, ensuring we are dating people who we like and accept AS IS! At 40… they might not ever be anyone different than the person you see in front of you. Furthermore, we could stop sending our representative and just be who tf we are. Then be consistently that in word and deed. If I tell you I’m going to cook you dinner on Thursday, only an emergency out of my control would change that. If I say I’m going to be respectful of you, that’s what it is. I’ll even respect you and me enough, in the presence of your disrespect, not to stick around and bust your head to the white meat. In order for human beings to feel safe enough to be emotionally vulnerable and mentally free they must be in space that’s consistent, which is synonymous with peace. You won’t get chose if you bring chaos.

So you see, it’s that simple. And if you are doing all those things and he doesn’t respond, he’s not the one. Move on with grace and bitter-free. You put your feelings on safety so you wouldn’t black out on these dudes, and simultaneously dodged a bullet. See how the universe is always working with you. Now put on your sundress or those gray sweatpants and that beater, check yourself in the mirror, do the Blade Icewood dance, and go out here, boss up and pull letters and numbers, and soon you’ll be saying …”my phone won’t stop ringing!”

“It’s Mr. Lee Iacocoa
And I’m the mayor of the mitten
Ya’ll niggaz ain’t bossin up y’all bullshittin!” -Blade Icewood and G-Rock “Boy Would You”

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

“…Do you know what that mean?”

They make songs about us.

***

Her: But why does he give the woman who has it all together a hard time?

Me: CUZ he doesn’t have it all together.

Oh, and because he’s stupid. YES, I said what I said… I can repeat it if you want me to. HE IS STUPID. He probably comes from some level of stupid. He has seen stupid. Someone accepted stupid, a lot of stupid. So he thinks that shit is acceptable.

***

*The Boss*

You have it all, a good job or business, a nice home, a nice car, bad ass shoes, and a stellar closet. You vacation, you are probably VERY single, meaning you have no kids and have never been married. You are gorgeous. You are intimidating… and being intimidating is not your issue. It is his.

Your friends wonder why you are single. Men ask you “what is wrong with you, why are you still single” (by the way, that is the DUMBEST question in America and if you are a man and you ask any woman this question, may you be struck down with great vengeance and furious anger just for being so dumb). You work really hard, but you play hard too. You are social. You get it in, so you aren’t waiting for Mr. Right to break into your house. But yet, no one approaches you… well the really ambitious dudes who need a lot of dental work and a vehicle, they do, but they got absolutely nothing to lose. Shoot your shot bro, I’m not mad at you. But you know who is gun shy… the brotha with it all. Why? Well…..

Insecurity. Men are taught that they are providers, fixers, workers, and breadwinners. They get tow trucks and tool sets, puzzles and video games…toys oriented to a task. Girls get dolls and makeup sets, books on babysitting and jewelry… toys oriented to taking care of others. So they see you doing what they think is primarily their job… and have nothing to do. If you make more money, are more educated, work more… it doesn’t fit with their idea of how men and women work together. So they retreat from you eventually. That is what anyone in a position of insecurity would do. All of this while trying to assert your position in the workplace from hating ass white supremacists, crying ass white women, other crab ass Black women, and stuck between race and patriarchy Black men. You are constantly having to prove both your worth and your dedication. So the last person you need to assure that you are apart of the team is your man, when you rock his bedazzled jersey and cheerlead from the sidelines every chance you get. That insecurity will get you kicked off the team every time!

Plus, fellas… Khadijah don’t need ya stuff, just you. You were her choice… emphasis on WERE!

“Kinda woman that want you but don’t need you…” -Neyo, “Miss Independent”

*The Mother*

So you and dude are rocking with each other, and then you have a baby together. He has other kids who are well behaved and well taken care of, so it seems like baby will be a welcomed addition to your relationship. This could even be the case where you both have children from previous relationships, but the time has come to introduce the kids into the equation. It seems pretty simple, be my man and be a father{figure}… right? NOPE, not all of the time. You see, it depends TOTALLY on who that man has been allowed to be before… the precedent has been set.

A man who has previously been TOTALLY in charge of the relationship, knew that that woman needed and required him to provide for both her and the children or the children might not make it… at least not as well as they have with him around. Knowing that his presence creates that safe haven for her and that she needs that provision, means that his efforts in other parts of the relationship… romance, communication, social activity, just not being an asshole… could be temporarily put off at his whim.

Then here you come!

At first, your independence is welcomed, it is refereshing. He can sit back and not have to worry about taking care of you quite in the same way. However, the ways that he needs to take care of you, he only knows how to provide on a temporary basis… and when he now has someone else to take care of or consider, that is when he goes on hiatus with you. For several reasons, I believe. The first being that he goes back into “being in charge” mode… without the realization that he cannot be in charge of you. You ain’t the be in charge of me type. The second is that, being in charge feels good to him, and it allows him to feel okay about being mediocre. With you, there is no in charge, so being mediocre does not feel so good. And who wants to feel bad, on purpose? Lastly, he has not had to do ANY HOME WORK on his women in the past, so he has done none on you. Think about it, how well does he know you? Can you be honest with him? Vulnerable? Do you tell him when you are hurting, or better yet does he already know? If the answer is no… sadly, you might have picked an okay father, but he cannot be a good man to you and a good father too. In fact, with you, he is probably slacking on his pimping in both areas… simply because being around you doesn’t feel as good to him as it did before BK (before kids). You got everything on lock, even with the kids in tow. You bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan. He doesn’t think he fits in…

Well sir, get in where you fit in.

“Cause I depend on me.” -Destiny’s Child “Independent Women”

*The Single Socialite*

When you move, they move, just like that. And so it goes, you got the key to city, your plate stays full, and you are on every ‘by invite only’ list. You love pictures, you love a good drink and a good song you can twerk to, and you hate a name dropper… because you are the name. Okay you get it. Anyway, you are likely a serial monogamist … you meet and greet, they work hard to sweep you off of your feet, but somehow you always end up standing in your Loubs, with yourself. You are never really by yourself and you love your me time, but for whatever reason no one has presented you with the perfect glass slipper. Why?

You too are intimidating, which also isn’t your fault… but in a different way. Men who think they are ready for you, usually quickly find out that unless they are okay with stepping aside and letting you shine, they will be in your shadow. So one of the rules of a lasting relationship is not to compete with your partner, if I win, we both win. And while that sounds good, and it is good, in practice, it often does not work quite like that. Movers and shakers tend to be competitive by nature. While women tend to be more community minded in their success, men are much more individualistic, so it may be hard for him to see himself as in a successful partnership and not the successful partner. He feels like he has to one up you, so instead of being partners you end up adversaries. He likely goes in to find someone in awe of his position. But he couldn’t see that what you built for yourself you were willing to share, and as your partner he didn’t need to compete. You don’t need a savior or someone who out does you, but someone who lets you shine, because he’s confident in his own shine.

“They buy the bar too, they superstars too” -Webbie “Independent”

***

These are just some examples… but independent women often find and feel that they get the short end of the stick BECAUSE they are independent! There is some truth in that, but the bigger truth is this: Go for yours, be able to take care of yourself and teach that to your daughters. The man made especially for you will find you, realize that you are that good thing he has been looking for, and he will boss up! Stupid dudes are just around to teach us lessons, that’s all. Until then, handle your business, upgrade, secure the bag, drip, stack, and hustle hard. And when bae finds you … let him take a flight in yo choppa!

No HANs … EVER!

“All these hoe [ass] ni**as, must be Hoechella!” -Lil Wayne

Listen, we gots to do better ladies.

Now, be clear, I’m not blaming women for the lack of manhood in a male… but I am putting the onus on us to pay attention to the signs and accept no HANs in our lives, we better than that (unless you not… only you know that!). Like Auntie Iyanla says, “do your work” and heal whatever leftover self-sabotaging demons and ghosts of evil’s past are still lingering. No HANs…ever again… mmmkay!

I know and feel your pain. It often seems like it’s a hoepalooza out here in these streets. So many men aren’t men, they are males of a certain age. They don’t have a clue or a plan. They are looking for a mama, a step mama to their outside kids, an accountant, a sponsor, and a room mate. They aren’t looking to make their women life mates or wives, but a part of their harem of harlettes. But they don’t have a bed to lay in or lay you down in. You are a really bad hoe if you hoeing in your mana’s sleep number adjustable bed. But if the elevated head fits…

Yet… we have the most precious commodity on Earth. Men have been going to the greatest lengths for the love of a woman since the beginning of time. They tryna get to you and that…yoni!

Paris, the Prince of Troy wanted Helen so bad, he started the Trojan War when he ran off with her.

The Italian poet Dante wrote of Beatrice, a woman he met once as a child and saw once in the streets of Italy, in many of his best writings, as his muse.

Lancelot, knight to King Arthur, goes to war with him over his affair with his live Guinevere, wife of the king. He loses, and eventually becomes a priest after losing his love.

We out here starting international battles!

Ultimately, we are making the final call. We are giving the yay or nay, even if we have expressed interest first… it is usually up to us how slow or fast, deep or shallow the situation goes. Add to that our penchant for emotional involvement, it is imperative that we seek out HAN tendencies and believe them when we see them. HANness does not lie, it is not easily confused with other qualities, it is its own sad set of facts. You owe it to yourself to disconnect from a HAN, no matter how fine, smooth talking, well-dressed, whatever… cuz if you stay… Molly, you in trouble girl!

So fellas, be not a HAN. If your daddy and uncles taught you the not so fine art of HANdom, reject it. I don’t think it’s an easy thing to get over. Once a HAN, very rarely does one graduate into manhood. It’s like the black hole. Graduate from malehood to manhood! And if your boy or your brother is a HAN, do your civic duty and yank his chain. School him in the ways of men!

Ladies, accept not HAN ways. He should be clear about his intentions. He should have income, transportation or an active Uber/Lyft/mass transit life, a place to lay his head other than your pillow, and a plan for his life he should be able to verbalize to you unless it’s obvious. He should return calls and texts in a timely manner, make time for you, refrain from telling you how busy he is in relation to your time together, honor his word, and be secure in his clearly present manhood… not to be confused with his malehood.

All in agreement… No HANs EVER!

Only Chella we acknowledge is Bey…

#HimToo

So my mind was blown…

I read this post I saw on FB, and I had to copy it and share it, because until the moment I read it, I didn’t think about it in the same way…

So, let me expound and give you some food for thought.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know men are sexually violated (read: raped [cuz what we not gon do is sugar coat, ever]), because believe me I did. It was that I had never compounded the MULTITUDE of stories I had heard from boyfriends, husband, and male friends who had admitted that their first sexual experience was typically below age 16, and the women were usually considerably older. The babysitter, the cousin’s friend, the sister’s friend, Auntie Peaches who did their mom’s hair, or Cousin Kiki, who wasn’t really their cousin… just HAR-lots (pronounced HAR-lots, just like it looks) who thought giving a young boy a piece of that dilapidated trim was cute and a good idea because…

Ain’t shit cute about raping kids. Period! Nasty cows. When I think about it, all I can envision is that unfortunate woman in Antwone Fisher…

Anyhow… after it dawned on me how valid this image was… I had a thought.

We socialize boys so much different than we do girls, especially sexually and especially in the Black community. Boys from a very young age have uncles and cousins, hell fathers, who teach them that the higher their body count, the more of a man they are. They watch their male relatives and friends of the family interact inappropriately with young girls… they are encouraged to dispose of their virginity like it’s a disease. While girls are taught to keep the nickel between their knees and not to open their legs until marriage. But who do they think these boys are going to be sexing?

The truth is that, we set boys up for failure by negating the worth of their bodies. Girls bodies are held up as prizes, prizes of prey by many men and prizes of pulchritude in general. While that has its own set of issues, the failure to even give worthiness to boys bodies sets them up to give them away like hand me downs. When we add to that, being violated by older women, we set in motion a series of events that lead many of them down a road of toxic masculinity, misogyny, and promiscuity that is hard for them to break.

When you steal a child’s innocence, you also put cracks in their spirit. Any young boy whose body is used as entertainment is likely to harbor some hatred for his abuser. That abuse gets passed off, from all the messaging coming at him, as acceptable. While the abuser becomes the poster child for everyone she looks like, willing to prostitute herself for the novelty of being some little boys first… better known as worthlessness! So girls and women become devoid of worth in his mind. Women exist for sex … that is how he’s been conditioned.

The truth of the matter is that… we have to, we must…call out this dysfunction for the culture. If we want men to celebrate Black women and Black women to honor Black men, we have to start teaching our children that they are ALL prizes to be treated with respect and dignity, and boys bodies are just as revered and special as girls bodies. Each one a treasure!

Otherwise, we will continue to raise young men who don’t value themselves and therefore cannot and do not value anyone else. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

Speaking of which… I just came across this quote by rapper ASAP Rocky in the latest Esquire magazine…

“My first orgy was when I was in seventh grade. Thirteen years oldThe first time was in this apartment building. We took the elevator to the roof, and everybody put their coats on the ground. There were like five girls and ten guys, and we all just took turns.” -ASAP Rocky in Esquire

WITEF?!?!? Thirteen year old boys should not be having orgies… We have gots to do better my people! #himtoo #metoo #wetoo

Sexual abuse and sexual trauma sets the course for victims to become abusers. The sex talk with boys has to be more than use a condom. We need to be instilling the same values about the worth and importance of his temple to him as we do to her. Anything else is irresponsible, and setting our boys up for failure and a mighty disastrous fall!

Antwone Fisher: “I’m still standing! I’m still strong! And I always will be!”

Better Grab a Seat

This is personal, but I feel like I need to purge it… so here I go…

“Fuck niggas, get money”

Yep, that’s right.

Cuz these dudes be on some real fuckboy shit. And they

FORTY…

and above! Yep, 40. Four zero. Ten four times, 40 rotations around the sun. 14,610 Days if we count leap years. A decade less than HALF A CENTURY!

I mean I need somebody to help me out. How are you still insecure, ego-driven, lacking confidence, worried about dumb shit, still tryna screw raggedy broads, and sending unsolicited photos of your junk?!?!? Dude? Grow up… or don’t, but don’t fake the funk with me because you have gotten in practice lying to kick it with grown women.

Just stop!

I’m out here hustling, drinking a gallon of water a day so I have no time for foolishness or drama cuz I’m on the toilet, and taking care of everybody. Yep, saving the world. And you are being stupid, noncommittal, emotionally unintelligent, and silent. Who raised you? Who hurt you? Who didn’t hug you enough? And could you get some therapy for all of that before you grow a beard and cut all the strings from that 2 for $199 suit from Men’s Warehouse… that makes you look grown and matches that good shit you were talking, that upon later inspection was a Audre Lorde quote.

Please don’t misunderstand gentlemen, we ladies are aware that there are a lot of males in men’s clothing… unfortunately they have been studying your moves and got you down to a science at the audition and even at the screen testing, but they can’t perform. Suddenly they are unable to commit to the role, forget their lines, and forgot they had made other plans they simply cannot break. But we are tired of having our time wasted. At 20 it was cute. At 30 we figured they were about to grow out of it, but at this point it’s reached a level of fuckery we can’t entertain, and we want a Russell in our future.

We aren’t fully blaming males though, we have some fault. They say people show you who they are, and it usually happens earlier than we walk away. If we want the promise then we have to be faithful to it, and bust up as soon as we see that what we have is a boy not yet a man, despite the gray in his beard. It’s BEEN time to level up. But no time like the present.

Grown men at 40 are very different from 40 year old males.

Grown men can cook a meal.

Grown men aren’t waiting on a woman to take care of them, but know they too are here to take care of others.

Grown men are financially and otherwise stable or at least have a plan that they are working towards for financial stability… a plan they can verbalize with deadlines and action plans.

Grown men don’t entertain a woman beyond casual dating who he isn’t interested in something greater with, and if he is on any other page he is going to verbalize that clearly.

Grown men are emotionally available.

Grown men take care of their kids.

Grown men don’t waste women’s time.

Grown men don’t practice ghosting, silent treatment, dishonesty, or fucking foolishness.

There is no need… state your business and find someone on the same page. It’s simple.

So if you are a Future… go find you someone who likes the idea of needing Google translate on language : “dumb shit” to understand you. They are out there. But this play is on Broadway, it’s not the chitlin circuit, and only Russells need apply.

Meanwhile, we’ll be over here moisturizing, stacking these coins, and minding our business until a man shows his face. We have an example to show to our children, and we need strong partnerships as the backbone of the Black community, to ensure we continue to grow and get better. Otherwise, we are spreading toxicity and dysfunction around like peanut better and there is no jam…no perfect verse over a tight beat. So get it together!

This lesson has been brought to you by the letters J and M, and is…

“Just a lil somethin’, to let you [mofos] know”

If They Say Why

Men aren’t from Mars.

Women aren’t from Venus.

But we sure are very different.

Some people attribute it to nature, others nurture, and some to having innies and outties… but how about this take:

Research has shown men and women are BIOLOGICALLY different cognitively and emotionally. For example… men have greater skill in spatial and visual relationships between objects and women have better verbal and memory skills. Women have better fine motor coordination and can compare and contrast better than men. Men, on the other hand are better at angles, movement, and gross motor skills. Since women’s brain hemispheres communicate faster and more often than men, women tend to recall and experience even basic things through a more emotional lens, where men are better able to compartmentalize. It’s no surprise then that women suffer more from depression and anxiety, based on more relational experiences…. and men more likely to be schizophrenic, addicts, or on the autism spectrum.(1)

So in keeping with that theory, men are taught to be strong and hard-working and to provide and protect. It’s simply an extension of being more aware of space and place. Since I like a very masculine man, I’ve always been surrounded by men with their head on constant swivel! They run faster. They react faster physically. They are aware of space and place, more focused on what IS than the feel of it… this is natural. Men aren’t unemotional or cold necessarily, they are just more rational. Emotion has its place. Men are better at pool, angles are exact, it’s not about feeling. Men are simply better at independent tasks, and tend to think in more independent terms.

Whereas women are taught to take care of people, including themselves, hone relationships, and communicate. Little girls never stop talking or asking questions by nature. Women seek out at least a few key relationships in every experience they find themselves in, as a way to relate. Women are also naturally interested in taking care of people and their feelings…but based off of all the senses. Cooking, sewing, crafting, and heck, taking the perfect selfie lol, are all examples of how those fine motor skills are used in service of communicating our care and establishing memories. We are naturally inquisitive and use our words. In gender biased environments those things are looked down upon, but in places where gender equality is practiced, our unique differences from men are celebrated. Having an opinion is never a bad thing! Being emotionally intelligent is a wonderful thing. These traits are not unique to women, but they come easier to women naturally!

If you know me, you know I’m a proud woman, a proud Black Woman to be exact. I have been raised by equally proud Black Women. I love men. I am a proponent of men who walk different, talk different, move different, and look different … we are supposed to compliment one another, not mimic each other. No offense to LeBron and his Thom Browne bag, but I want to carry the better handbag. We can’t swap Capri pants like Gabby and Dwayne. Grooming is fine, but primping is out… and it ain’t easy. Our different movement is what makes us fit. He watches our moves, like chess. I watch our fit, like a puzzle. His outtie, when connected to his brain, points him in the proper direction, towards me… and my innie invites him home. Deep… lol.

But seriously, in the grand scheme of things, our differences, these physical and biological differences, when experienced in equity, are God’s plan. I CAN do anything he can do, and vice versa… but that is not the logical and efficient order of things.

So sir, when you are questioning why you don’t understand women and ma’am, you are thinking it’s time to hang it up and just be a spinster with cats… remember that our differences are innate and we must explore and get to know each other with that in mind…

Or as the late and great Michael Jackson would say…”tell em that it’s human nature!”

(1) Stanford Medicine. https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spring/how-mens-and-womens-brains-are-different.html