Petty in a Time of Chaos

First of all, just let me start with this fact. COVID-19 has created a mental and emotional block on many of us who rely on our creativity to destress, live, feed our families, etc. Now lucky for you, you currently get this brilliant content (I’m sitting down and I’m humble, but I’m definitely smelling the yams) for free. However, it’s really not free. It requires you to think, take out a moment of your time to indulge me, and to consider some things or a perspective you might not otherwise have considered. So I thank you for that. The stress and uncertainty that has flooded us has also watered down our creative color. But like Van Gogh, we have to learn to paint in all mediums.

So, in my time sheltering in place, of course, I have needed food when I’ve got a man and a teenage boy, both 6’3″ and over 240lbs, sheltering in place in my house. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much meat consumed and they drink so much juice we need stock in Ocean Spray and Tropicana. I have needed toilet paper once as well, so I have hit up Meijer, Target, and Dollar General once or twice a piece during this six weeks.

Three Things: People do not know what six feet means. People are ignorant. People are pushing some of us to petty.

Okay so first off, I have had to verbally check people about giving me space. I don’t care if you aren’t coughing. I don’t care if you washed your hands. I don’t really care if I know you. If you are not quarantined in my house, Imma need six feet at all times. But people are ignorant and craving petty… so here we go.

Now I don’t do unkempt. Generally, I’m a wash my face, brush my teeth , curl my hair, jeans and sneakers girl. I need some earrings, perfume, and lip balm on and I’m good. But I refuse to look like I have been rolling around in a wrestling match with loneliness and regret. I will not be out here raggedy… nope. They make YouTube videos on how to do everything, figure it out. So when I’m called out for having my hair done in the store line, I released the petty. Yes, I talked through a face mask, my glasses were foggy, I had on rubber gloves, and the cashier was behind plexiglass… but the times call for petty in a time of chaos. I let miss thing with her Frederick Douglas bob know I’d gladly curse her out and the location of the hair care products available for purchase, but to start she HAD to move back six whole feet. They had it marked for her, just stand on it. X marks the spot where I might not throw this shoe at you a la Dr Mattie Moss Clark… get it right, or get out… of line. Oh and who gon check me boo… I invested in flatirons and paid attention while holding my ear at the stove. Invest in you.

On another such occasion I am picking apples off the apple display. This woman walks up, says hello, and proceeds to stand so close to me I could smell what reminded me of Afro Sheen and feel her elbow brush my arm. I had an out of body, and jumped from standing like I was long jumping, about four feet away. She looked at me perplexed, and before I could catch myself to react a bit better…

Me: CDC says six feet not six millimeters.

She laughed: Oh it’s man made, I don’t believe that stuff.

Me: I can pull up pictures of dead people that were walking upright a week or two weeks ago. I don’t care what you believe. You believed that bare feet and flip flops were a good footwear choice in thirty degree weather.

Random Man: I like you, you married?

See… foolishness is at an all time high.

I have seen folks eating with gloves on… think on that for a second. People pull money out of the underwear that covers their ass … don’t think about or do that EVER. Ten fools on a little tight ass porch like clowns in a clown car…wait there’s another one… eleven fools on a porch! You are eating COVID, handing folks COVID, and puff puff passing COVID. Stop it. More than that, you are driving those of us who are some combination of real, witty, and uninterested in your foolishness deeper and deeper into petty ways. We’d like to spread some info and tell a joke or two during this madness, but that’s morphing into the Grandest of Petty because of people who cannot follow basic directions.

Moreover… we don’t care where it came from, not right now. It’s like saying HIV was manmade. Who cares… wear a condom and don’t use used needles, and you won’t get it. So regardless of the plan to kill folks with it, because it’s a virus and does viral things, it can be controlled through reduction of transmission. Gimme six feet. In fact, gimme ten and keep your mouth shut… your throat will stay moist, you are less likely to cough, and therefore more likely to make it out alive. Folks are wild out here. Fear will do that. Foolishness, however, accomplishes nothing… it just increases the likelihood that you’ll get quarantine cursed out by pushing me towards petty.

It takes a nation of millions… be in that number that helps the cause, not hurts it. Besides, the less we take heed of the recommendations from researchers, doctors, experts in epidemics and pandemics, the more likely we’ll be dude in Van Goghs “The Hague with the New Church”…

…walking around liberated, but alone.

COVID-19 is Public Enemy #1… so be clear of your target. Shut it down, and backup … cuz you can get slapped up … by petty.