Doctorate of Respeck

Yooooooooooooooo

White men are a wild ass bunch y’all. Last week they continued with the clownshit we have come to expect from rich, White, old men towards women.

On Wednesday, Tiffany Haddish told Variety that she turned down a request to host the Grammy’s pre-show for no compensation whatsoever, including hair and makeup. While Grammy’s chief, Harvey Mason Jr. , who is Black, claimed this was done without his consent, it’s proof that the Grammy’s brand is still very much run by the same “step up” attitudes towards women as former President Jeffrey Portnow famously uttered. Despite the interim President’s positive changes to the brand, there are still very antiquated ideals rampant in the Recording Academy. And just being honest, this reeks of rich, conservative, White guy. Then, on Friday, the Wall Street Journal posted an Op Ed written by Joseph Epstein, an author, essayist, and former anti-feminist editor of The American Scholar. Dude called feminists “dykes on bikes” but is being published in 2020 telling DOCTOR Jill Biden to drop the Dr. in front of her name because it is “fraudulent” as she didn’t graduate from medical school. Sir…

Listen… fuck them.

Let’s start with Tiffany Haddish, a two time Grammy nominated comic powerhouse… who does not need to be paid in exposure but in dollars. She’s already famous. This might have been a good idea for her career before she blew up, but this woman has had deals with HBO and Netflix. But like Hollywood does, she hasn’t made close to the money on these deals that her White counterparts or her male counterparts have made. So pay her in currency, cuz this ain’t the auction block where you get to have her walk and show her teeth to show she’s worthy of massa’s pick. She doesn’t need to be seen… she needs to be paid in equity. And White men need to stop acting like women, specifically Black women need to do more than exist and be the bosses that we are in order to get credit for our excellence. Period. This woman is a household name, treat her as such. Imogen Heap hosted last years Pre-Grammy show. No shade to her, but who is that? You gonna offer Tiffany Haddish something… offer her dollars. You aren’t doing her any favors sticking her on a streaming three hour show but more Instagram likes. Pay her in equity…. because like she said “The exposure is amazing, but I think I have enough.” Wanna know what she doesn’t have enough of, if we are comparing her to others in her field with the same amount of exposure… money!

So the Grammy thing got on my nerves. But so do most people’s Facebook posts so that’s not uncommon. But this Op Ed about Jill Biden burned my buttons clean off. I am buttonless. I’ve come undone. The sheer and utter audacity.

So first things first, I thought it said Jeffrey Epstein and I had to read the name twice. And I was immediately angry. This guy has never been accused of things as heinous as Jeffrey Epstein, but he clearly hates women just as much. So I went in a digging spree. Oh Joseph…

This clown, first, has no graduate degree to speak of that he earned… so he should close his mouth to things he is clearly uneducated about. Dude has an honorary doctorate, a Doctor of Humane Letters… because he’s supposedly distinguished himself in his field. But from what I’ve read he’s only distinguished himself as a sexist, racist, and homophobic asshole… do they do doctorates in that shit cuz boy boy should have that plaque.

This man is most known for his anti-feminism, misogynistic, homophobic, and racist esssys… so why is he being given a platform to spout more of the same hatred. That question remains. In addition to his wildly disrespectful and lewd commentary on feminists, he has also printed an essay that called homosexuals, who he stated he wanted eradicated, niggers. So we know his thoughts on both Black people, gay people, and women. All negative. Go figure. He’s a whole clown. So he sits firmly in his clowndom and pens an essay in which he claims proudly his doctorate is only honorary… which is when he should have put down his own, but goes on to say, “A wise man once said that no one should call himself “Dr.” unless he has delivered a child.”

Instead, he goes on a rant about Dr. Jill Biden’s EARNED use of the honorific as “bush league” and then goes on a whole jaunt down the path of honorary degree bashing, as if to give himself credence on the topic. All it really does, is show how immensely he hates women, and given his very wild homophobia… I’d venture to guess that he’s grappling with some closeted self-identity issues that cause this level of vitriol towards someone he clearly doesn’t know. Your slip, the silky one with lace, is showing Mr. Epstein. Conduct yourself accordingly.

The ignorant Epstein and this wise man he speaks of… should do better research. The title Dr. in front of ones name is Internationally a designation first for those who earn a Ph.D or other research oriented doctorate level degree. It also includes, in most countries, an M.D., or medical degree. In every country doctors don’t need doctorates, some only require bachelors degrees. In many countries PhD or research doctorate holders are automatically entitled to use Dr. and those in the medical field must be granted that authority by law. So, you see, as the holder of a research doctorate, just a special one in Education, Dr. Biden is more internationally recognized than say the medical doctor who may one day perform your top and bottom surgery Mr. Epstein.

Jill Biden earned her doctorate at 55 years old, an accomplishment in an of itself. But she has a total of four degrees, three graduate degrees. She i degree’ed up. Dr. Biden is the wife of the President Elect of the United States, a professor, head of the Biden Foundation, and co-founder of Joining Forces, an initiative to help veterans and military service members families. She is a certified boss. She deserves the respect of being called Dr. Biden.

The audacity… is overwhelming.

Women in America are still very much seem as second class, deemed less worthy of the accolades and rewards we have earned simply because marginalizing us, just like marginalizing everyone who falls victim to it, is meant to maintain the feigned superiority of rich, White, conservative men. Period. However, we keep coming back, keep getting back up on the proverbial bike no matter how many times you push us off the road. Pay us, acknowledge us, and put some respeck on our names. Get a doctorate in respeck, and write your dissertation on the history of audacity of rich, White, conservative men.

Until next time I am forced to speak on this audacity, I just wanna know… as a pulse check…

Consistently Inconsistent

“Seasons change… people change” -Exposé

I like the four seasons… the pretty sandals and sundresses in summer, cropped pants and food trucks in the spring, sweaters and knee high socks in autumn, and hot cocoa and coats in the winter. Yep fashion and food. And while I like the consistently inconsistent seasons in Michigan, at 40, I have zero time for inconsistent people. They are to relationships what passive aggressives are to communication… death dealers! They make my teeth chatter and my eyes water with their cold aloofness. I like winter the least of the seasons. But winter is coming…

Consistency is a requirement for a healthy adult relationship. It is not only a sign of respect and protection, it literally determines how secure and confident one party is in a relationship and how considerate the acting party is to your time and your prioritization in their lives. The ability of a partner, whatever the nature of the partnership, to give credence and care to how valuable it is to (1) have an equal and reciprocal action for everything they claim they will do and (2) value your choice to engage in partnership with them is paramount. Sadly… because actions speak loudest, there are a lot of grown people who simply do not bound their actions by their word. They manipulate with words, and forget that after so many instances, the jig is liable to be up.

Well beloved, the jig IS up!

I lead with my expectations regarding behavior. It’s nothing complicated or a list with ten folds, but it simply puts anyone on notice, I don’t have the time! I expect grown people to do what they say they will do, when they say they will do it… and I expect that consistently. I make that clear, but people tell you what they think you want to hear. From here on out, actions only, keep your mouth shut. You don’t talk consistency, you demonstrate it.

You see, a failure to respect other people’s time and match their energy comes from a failure of others to hold your ass accountable. The only way to hold others accountable is to call them on their shit, set boundaries, and honor those boundaries even if they fail to. It is an ultimate sign of disrespect for a person to sway in the wind like a vinyl air sock when you are always clear skies and sunshine. Disrespect must be met head on with direct communication about the disconnect. It’s easy to correct inconsistency… if you make a plan, you stick to it; if you make a promise you keep it; don’t claim you about it just BE about it. If that’s hard for you, you haven’t grown up.

Grown up \grōn-uhh/ n.: mentally and emotionally mature, behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult

Inconsistency is not mentally or emotionally mature behavior, and it is completely irresponsible. If you are engaged in a relationship, that you chose, the only way to develop stability and rhythm is to ensure your partner can depend on you. All that charm, saying all the right stuff, and showing up JUST at the right time is a mask for the claims of being so busy, disappearances, and failing to be there when their partner is in need. It’s a charade… and who has time for games of the heart and excuses for bad behavior? We make time for the things we care about… and anyone who is consistently inconsistent only ultimately cares about themselves. Besides… excuses are the tools of losers. Ain’t nobody too busy to be consistent! They are just, frankly, full of shit!