Something’s on my mind…

I watched the Tina Turner documentary on HBO today… and frankly we talk wayyyyy too much about raggedy ass Ike and not enough about Tina’s arms and legs at 50 years old. My gawd…

But a big part of her story is Ike, and a big part of the movie was her disappointment and pain of having to relive and retell that story of abuse and violence so many times. It was clear from her recollections that the movie, where most of us got to see his heinous behavior and those famous scenes of him dragging her by her hair through their home or her kicking his ass in the limo, were identical to reality. Violence from your mate or spouse is so horrible; a person you give access to yourself in ways that just don’t make sense to exist on the other side of a fist, hair pulls, fear, and disrespect. It’s a demon… and you have to exorcise it.

Demons make good music, have good jobs, can woo you, dress well, kiss you, give to you…only to take away. Demons are most often just afraid of you, that if you shine your light on them, like most demons they will burn and die. I mean you must know Ike’s drawn up little gnarled ass was hugely insecure next to her magnetism, her performance, those legs and arms. My gawd… He was both attracted to her sunshine and fearful of her sunburn. Just a demon, with demon ways… and she didn’t free herself until she forgave… not just walked away. You see, demons want you to hold on to their shit… it is that power they want. Don’t do it. Release the Ike demon in your life. Like release him all the way. Forgive him for being a demon, and watch the angels appear. Amen.

Also be clear that demons appear nice and friendly, cool and calm, and victims of their demonic behavior often hide it and keep it to themselves. No demon wants to be found out, and no victim wants to be seen as a victim. So that raggedy negro who pulled her by the hair, slapped her, and pushed her down or that woman who was punched at, patched the holes in the wall, and flinched in fear when he jumped at her like he was going in on double dutch… they call it domestic because most often it happens behind doors you aren’t allowed to enter. Neither of them want you to know. It’s shameful, it’s disrespectful, it’s ugly, and it’s damaging. It’s not the loving partnership she thought she’d have… the gentle and sweet refuge from the hard and difficult world. The world often pales in comparison. Demons ain’t shit.

But you can stand in opposition to domestic violence. If you are a man who knows your home boy often gets physically violent with his woman, speak on it, let him know that’s very moist of him. If you are a woman who suspects or knows your friend is being abused, support her don’t become silent and just mind your business. The truth is, men often kill women while engaging in abuse behaviors. They want so badly to own and possess her, to live inside her head and body, they drown in her blood. Your unsaid words won’t matter anymore if that happens… so let them both know you’ll bust his head to the white meat. Somebody should have whopped Ike’s ass one real good time.

Violence, but especially male violence towards women is some sucka shit. Be like Tina, get over despite him cuz you are simply… the best!

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If you are in a domestic abuse relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.